Where does he bat?

Debbie Mcgee (Three)

I've had her.

She was magic...

"So, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"

Who gives a flying fook? Cricket is a tediously boring, pretentious sport, a waste of a good area of grass if you ask me. And yet another way for the English to expose themselves as no-hopers on a 'world' (i.e. ex-British Empire) stage.

Well the embarrassment is almost complete:

So cricket experts, I have some questions:

1. If this pitch is so hostile when we bat, why wasnt it when the aussies batted?

2. Does that make their bowlers better than ours?

3. If not, then why didnt our bowlers give the aussies a constant bouncer barrage?

4. Why didnt we target Johnson when he batted? Tried to break his fingers etc?

I actually think our bowlers let us down a bit here. They are not as good as we think. If every pitch is like this then what are we going to do? Are we going to let the urban legend about Johnson just keep growing? If we do, he will be unplayable by the end of the series.

Obviously the batsmen need to grow a pair. They have had it easy too long. They now need to earn their right to play.

Its been a shocker of a performance all round.

Only Broad can really hold his head up. Maybe Root if he stays not out.

The rest need to have a good bloody look at themselves. Its not the losing, its the manner and the size of the defeat.

We look shit scared of them.

My team for next test

Cook
Carberry
Bell
Kp
Root
Stokes
Bairstow
Broad
Swann
Tremlett
Anderson

Prior and trott to come out, stokes as a 4th seamer will certainly help. I don't really rate bairstow but prior is way out of form

If we were playing at Perth I'd seriously consider dropping Trott as that wicket is likely to be even quicker than Brisbane.

We're not though Adelaide is likely to be slowish flat wicket an opportunity for him to restore some clear thought and send belief. The bloke is a top class batsman I'm not sure he deserves binning at the first problem he's had in his career. If he can go away and sort his head out he's still capable of scoring a lot of runs in this series.

Prior as well deserves a bit more faith in his ability than that they are both proven World class players, just for the first time badly out of form.

I can't see England hitting the panic button and making wholesale changes to the balance of the team after one shocker.

At 1 down we can't afford to be sentimental. Would stokes be a bad replacement. I really think we could do with an all rounder in the side to help out broad and Anderson.

It's not sentimental Trott is capable of scoring massive hundreds, he averages 47 batting three in Test cricket. If he sorts out of a method to Johnson and clears his mind he can still do that. As I said Adelaide is very different surface and he won't be given quite the hurry up he was in Brisbane. I don't think Stokes is ready yet.

Keep the faith I say, one game ago we'd just beat this lot 3-0.

He's world class there's no doubt about that but at 1 down is playing him a risk. Clarke answered broad superbly in the 2nd yet trott did it again. His shot selection was horrendous. Prior also is not batting well at all. If we give them another chance and go 2 down then what?

That's not happened yet and they could both score hundreds in a defeat so I can't answer that.

They have both done enough for England to deserve a bit more faith and I think dropping experienced players after one defeat would be hitting the panic button.

I like your loyalty and I'm probably wrong to question there selection but it means too much against these and we can't carry passengers. I really hope your right because they are world class and if playing well we become so much better

Trott flying home due to stress related illness.

You could see something wasn't right.

Jesus wept, the aussies will be pissing themselves laughing.

I don't think even they would stoop that low.

Why is it stooping low?

Their first reaction would be to suggest Trott has bottled it.

Like all sports people do.

They will probably be asking "who should we send home next"

If it turns out later that Trott has mental health issues, then they will be sympathetic. In the meantime they will just use it against the others

Unless you think they will be saying:

"oh dear, what have we done? We had better act more nicely to the other England players."

It stress related illness. Not necessarily cricket stress illness. The stress could have affected his form not form (or Australians ) brought on the stress

His form hasn't been up to the mark for a while so If he was badly effected then why the hell did we pick him? I can't help but feel after watching flower's interview today that Warner's comments were indeed unhelpful and have contributed to Trott's decision to go home.

The Aussies will love this and as has been mentioned, they'll be thinking who they can scarper next.

Things are falling apart for us at the moment and I really hope we can emerge stronger after this 2 week break or we could be on the end of an absolute humiliation.

Trott was described as vital prior to the tour starting.

So if they knew he was in trouble, it just makes everything look ridiculous.

I bet Clarke and his team are falling about laughing.

Really? Not. A. Clue.

I think it was obvious to everybody that something was wrong.
In hindsight I would suggest that, whatever it is, it hasn't just started.
His form in the summer wasn't that impressive but, because of our 3-0 success, it was put down to a drop in form during any post series inquests.
However the pressure has been racked up preceding this current series and the cause of his current form, whatever it is, has come to the surface.
Hopefully the diagnosis is correct insomuch that he can now be given the help needed to eradicate it and get back to being the class batsman we have all witnessed in the past.
I wish him a speedy recovery from whatever ails him and the very best of luck.

On a personal note I have first hand experience of a mental phobia.
A long long time ago I sat at my newborn baby's cotside for the only month of her life and watched her die.
Words cannot describe the effect of that but all you fathers will be able to imagine it.
Shortly after that I developed claustrophobia and I am certain it was triggered off by my daughter's death.
I made the mistake of keeping it to myself, I told no one, not family or friends. It was a mental health issue and there wasn't the sympathy or understanding of such illnesses as there is now.
I was terrified of big crowds, enclosed spaces etc etc.
I wouldn't go to a footy match unless I had a seat and that had to be near the exit.
The London underground terrified me, as did any crowded situation.
My deceased daughter gave me the strength to fight it on my own and eventually I conquered it, completely.
That is the first time I've ever admitted that I had this phobia and it's taken over forty years to admit to it.
I am not suggesting Trott is suffering from a similar experience but I wouldn't rule it out, so good luck to the lad.
When I feel down or feel I have a problem I think back to my little girl lying there, fighting for her right to live and that puts any current problem into perspective because, believe me, nothing or nobody can hurt me as much as that did.
She gave me strength then and gives me strength every day.
R I P my Little Angel. xxx

You need to separate what you believe in, to what a sports person initials reaction would be.

Your response makes it sound like you thought I was saying that was my opinion.

Its alright being clever and a thinker, but sometimes the obvious seems to miss you.

If the aussies can send half our team home with mental stress, broken fingers, aids, they will.

Its called sport.

Afterwards I am sure they will have regrets but at the time, its all PLAY TO WIN.

And remember the aussies, like all rivals, will see this as another plus for their quest to win the ashes.

Oh, and I know we will now get loads of posts about not understanding mental illness, with loads of examples, etc etc etc.

But that wsnt what my post was about. Unless you think it was?

Oh and if Pools get to the play off final, and we find the oppo goalie has suffered stress, our fans wont target him at all will they?

Just to give us an edge?

Even if they feel sorry for him really?

Of course they bloody will.

If anyone has any doubts that the Aussies will not be reveling in this seriously needs to give their head a shake.

Yes but its mental illness and we are without a clue.

I just hope if it was the other way round, England would let the aussies win to make them feel better.

apparantly David Warner is now being slaughtered for daring to suggest Trott looked scared when he went out to bat.

I was watching at the time, and the close up clearly showed Trott looked fookin shit scared.

Why is Warner being critisised for THAT?

Dominic Cork has said the same this morning, and Bob Willis did yesterday.

If Trott does indeed have a mental health issue, and it has been going on for a while, the England management team should be crucified........not us on here for stating the bleedin obvious.

wouldnt it have been better for the rest of the England team, if they had said Trott ws injured?

Never knew any of that frank. Can't have been easy to write.

Mark Butcher on Skysports just now:

The Australians will see this as a sign of weakness in the England camp, regardless of the real issue with Trott.

You can apologise now Fat Man.

Hmm who to bat at 3 now? Root?

Cricketers are away from their families for an extraordinary amount of weeks at a time. Must be tough, I know I couldn't do it.

Bell for me.

Peiterson needs to be left at four. I would move Root to 5, and bring in Bairstow, and maybe Stokes as well.

Not sure about Ballance, dont know enough about him.

It wasn't easy and it is the first time I've spoken about my phobia, which I've conquered.
Maybe I shouldn't have but I wanted to make people think before they had a go at Trott. I expect the Aussies to make a meal of it, as do others but you never know it could just be the catalyst to get our team to grit their teeth, roll up their sleeves and get stuck in to them.

Nice one Frank. I too think it will have a galvanising effect on the England team.

Bell 3
Root 5
Stokes 6

Watching root and Swann bowl an extreme amount of overs with a pitch that wasnt turning should tell the selectors that a 4th seamer is required. For me stokes is the only man who could come in and keep the batting intact. Bell can play 3 and can certainly fill trotts shoes which in fairness to trott not many in the entire world could. Root to move up to 5 and then we need a 6. Looking at the squad, bairstow or stokes for me but stokes can bowl aswell. He can bowl 90mph which would be a huge help to us especially on these wickets.

Also if bresnan is fit id replace tremlett aswell

Stokes is a talented lad but 6 is way too high in Test cricket right now, he averaged less than 30 in the Championship last season (less than the much maligned Bairstow did in the Ashes)

He forced his way into the squad with his bowling more than his batting, he's a number 7 or 8 at that level as it stands, and has Bresnan and Broad ahead of him as all rounders. If Prior was in any sort of form he could maybe go up to 6 but he's way short of that right now.

Talk of bringing in Stokes is premature. He's not up to the mark at this level and at the moment is more of a bits and pieces player at test level. I can't see him threatening the Aussies at all.

I'd bring in Ballance or Bairstow. Perhaps the former as he's unknown to the Aussies but then he's completely untried at this level and hasn't scored in the warm ups.

I think they'll go for Bairstow and give everyone else another chance. I wouldn't like to be the one making the decision though. Bell up to 3 is a foregone conclusion you'd think.

Marcus trescothick was sent home with a stress related illness at one point, not good news hopefully he can make a full recovery and play for England again.

It's incredible that we've had top sportsmen take there own lives in recent years yet still when something like this comes up you still see and hear loads of staggering ignorance on the issue.

Illness is not weakness but when so many people percieve it as that it's no wonder that people bottle things up say nothing and end up doing something tragic.

I fully sympathise with Trott and hope he gets rid of the demons that are messing with him. A couple of lads we're here with have kids and they both clearly miss them and we're only on a 3 week lash up! It is a very long way to be away from your family and if you're already feeling down then 3-4 months away at a place like this when you're struggling for runs would understandably fck with your mind.

Hope he gets himself sorted, I'm not one for this 'perspective' talk but his lack of runs doesn't really mean much now. Get well soon Trotty!

Cricketers and depression seem to go hand in hand. Marcus Trescothick probably brought it out onto the open in a way that people could start to look at the problem. Harmison and Flintoff have also said they suffer from it. Hopefully Trott will get all the help he needs.

Sadly cricket does have an unhealthy suicide rate. There has even been a book written about it. Most notable recent cases were David Bairstow and Mark Saxelby. The hardest part does seem to be admitting the problem.

Hopefully the way the Aussies have behaved in the last few days is setting them up for a massive fall. They aren't behaving with any class or respect and getting massively ahead of themselves after one victory. It's the first Test match they've won in nine yet they think they've got it all sorted .

The media coverage over their has been embarrassing and childish. A lot of the players are coming out like absolute arseholes. You 'd have thought the Ashes was won.

Flower surely doesn't have to say much to the players they should be massively up for Adelaide and the rest of the series. Imagine the satisfaction if they could turn this around? I've never wanted an England in any sport to do that more after the last few days. We need to keep quiet maintain our dignity and beat the fuckers!

Agree with this, but not sure why you are suggesting the players keep quiet and maintain dignity.

Unless you are suggesting players need to be more careful, just in case another player is feeling low, and potentially depressed?

And thus believing the Aussies caused Trotts situation?

And from what I can gather the ICC are urging the players to behave a bit better, more because of Clarks comments to Anderson rather than anything else.

Personally I want us to keep quiet, but grow some balls, fight back, win it, then give em pelters.

But growing some balls, and looking less scared would do for now.

I meant off the field to the media and social media.

What Warner said about a fellow professional was a fucking disgrace, all done with a smug grin on his rat tashed bogan face.

On the field fight fire with fire, our players will give as good as they get.

OK. With you then.

He's a disgrace and should be stripped of the captaincy. People talk about the spirit of the game.. How can this be promoted when they are seen to promote boorish behaviour like this .

The words presented may not be the ones inputted ..Thanks Tapatalk

Oh give over.

It was only words. Poor taste yes, but still only words.

And Warners comments were actually right. They appear bad now in the context of Trotts departure, but fuck me, there are some right soft fuckers these days. If a bit of name calling affects them, and us so badly.