Not getting into this conversation, its a no-no for me.


[stands with fingers in ears going laa-laa-laa-laa-la]

[exits stage to right]

Don't get me started either as I could turn into the most viscous bar steward you will ever know.

They say Islam is a peaceful religion, well let's have a look at this Quran of theirs...

"Allah will bestow a vast reward on those who fight in religious wars",

"Have no unbelieving friends. Kill the unbelievers wherever you find them",

"If the unbelievers do not offer you peace, kill them wherever you find them. Against such you are given clear warrant",

"Those who make war with Allah and his messenger will be killed or crucified, or have their hands and feet on alternate sides cut off, or will be expelled out of the land. That is how they will be treated in this world, and in the next they will have an awful doom",

"Christians will be burned in the Fire",

A fact about Muhammad.
All 67 out of 68 wars of Muhammad were offensive.He raided, massacred and looted civilians with no warning

The Quran also tells Muslims not to accept none-muslim laws, it's against their religion to obey our laws so why the f*ck are they in this country? Seriously? Why?

Right, I told you not to get me started but you have. I'll stop now cause I could go on forever. Kick em all out.

Spooks was much better and more believeable

If it weren't for muslims we wouldn't need MI5.

I much prefer Lost. I've watched every episode in both series so far. The best show to have graced the screen for a long time

I started get the second series off the net after the 1st finished but gave up after a dodgy copy. If I had more time on my hands, i could easily become one of these saddos who hangs around messageboards predicting outcomes and posting rubbish. Hang on a minute...

puts hand up*
lost addict also
but the lack of answers to ones questions is starting to do my head in, too many episodes nowt really happens......
twas good the e4 episode last night :sweet:

You're right feller but recently I went up to Scotland to spend the weekend with friends, stayed at a hotel. Me, the Mrs and two little kids in the same room so we couldnt go out and had to be quiet while they got to sleep.
I didnt take a book and on the second night found the bible in the chest of drawers next to my bed.
I asked the Mrs to tell us a number between 0 and 1300 (or whatever it was) and then read out the page to her.
She did that three times.
Believe me, it was worrying. All about non-believers burning in hell, lots of violent acts.
Its not just Islam, its the whole bloody lot of them.
When it comes to religion I'm nothing. In my opinion the only thing worth being is Pagan, but to be honest I cant be arsed.

bibles or whatever of all religions are full of contradictions. How can all of it be taken in the literal sense or all of it in the metaphorical sense? It's down to the interpretation of words written by one or more storytellers from hundreds of years ago - how the hell all of that still holds so much sway over so many millions of people is, quite frankly, beyond my comprehension. That's ALL religions BTW.

Adam and Eve were husband and wife and started the human race.
They had two sons.
Then ermmm....

Kind of loses its logic after that.

All I can say is, if you don't get it there is no point in trying to explain

Each to there own in my view

were they husband and wife??

if they weren't then we're all bastards and in-bre - were they from billingham

No they didn't, they had absolute shitloads of kids, the third being Seth. Adam went on to live 930 years.
Dunno about Eve like. She might have popped off earlier. But since incest was by definition necessary it might as well have been father-daughter...

930 years - fook me the country would be fooked up if we all claimed pension for 865 years

What do you mean 'WOULD BE'???? :?

great? I've been known to grate on a few people!!!

There's got to be something, all this just didn't appear..BUT... I think the organised religions are gonna be well disappointed when they find out they were wasting their time and ours. THERE'S ONLY ONE THING YOU NEED.... A CONSIENCE.

Did you ever see that sketch by Rowan Atkinson? It is judgement day and the Devil welcoming his new charges into Hell giving them an induction speech. some of them seem quite apt for this thread so here goes.

As he splits everyone into group there are a couple of gems such as:

Athiests, are you here? you must be feeling a right bunch of charlies!
Christians, are you all here? Ah yes, I'm afraid the Jews were right!


Hello, nice to see you all again.

As the more perceptive of you have probably realised by now - this is hell, and I am the Devil. Goodevening. You can call me Toby, if you like - we try and keep things informal down here, as well as infernal.

Now, you're all here for eternity, which I hardly need tell you is a sod of a long time, so you get to know everyone pretty well by the end, but for now I'll have to split you up into groups.

Are there any questions?

No, I'm afraid we don't have any toilets, if you'd read your bible you would have seen that it was damnation; without relief. So, I'm afraid if you didn't go before you came then you're not going to enjoy yourself very much, but then, I believe that's the general idea.

Right, let's split you up then.

Murderers, over here. Looters and pillagers - over there please, thieves if you could join them, and BANKMANAGERS.

Fornicators, if you could step forward - My God there are a lot of you. Could I split you up into adulterers and the rest? Adulterers if you could just form a line in front of that small guillotine there.

AMERICANS, are you here? I'm sorry about this, apparently God had some fracas with your founding fathers and damned the entire race into perpetuity. He sends particular condolences to the Mormans who He realises put in a lot of work. The Iranians, I'm afraid, couldn't be with us - someone's been holding them in purgatory for the last nine months.

Sodomites, over there against the wall.

Atheists, over here please. You must be feeling a right bunch of charlies.

Christians, ah yes, I'm afraid the Jews were right.

Moonies, maniacs, marmite eaters, male models, masochists, mass murderers and masseurs, if you could take a pew at the back - with the Methodists that is.

Now, you're the lot who used to kill whales, is that right? Ah, yes, I must remember - I've got some strips to tear off you bastards later.

Everyone who saw Monty Pythons' "Life Of Brian", I'm afraid He can't take a joke after all.

Alright now, one final thing - we're trying to implement some sort of exchange scheme with the Lord God Almighty, or Cliff as we know him. Some of you will spend a decade in heaven and we're having some angels down here. Now, I hardly need tell you that you will be expected to behave in an exemplary manner, so, I hope you will do the exact opposite - tear off their wings, use their holoes for frisbee practice, that sort of thing.

Well, I have to go now, but Beelzebub here will show you the ropes. And the chains and electrodes.

I wonder what he died of? After 930 years it couldn't have been the usual stuff.

I know it's complete bunkum, but it is nonetheless a fact that in the Bible, before the flood, all those whose age is mentioned live enormous life spans.
After the flood, death progressively arrives at a younger and younger age until it settles down at the classic three score plus ten years.

Some folk, however, take this seriously and actually look for reasons to explain it!

http://www.biblestudy.org/basicart/longpatr.html