*common chavvy voice*: is that mr Murall?
me: nope, its Mr Muriel tho
*ccv*: oh, Mr. Mureel I'm Debra from ...
Me interrupting: Dee-Bra??
Debra: what?
Me: Dee-Bra
Debra: no, its Debra
Me: its an easy mistake.....
Debra:
I'm calling from Acorn stairlifts, does everyone in the house manage the stairs alright?
Me: yeah apart from the cripples like
Debra: the cripples?!
Me: yes, the cripples! me mams got a club foot
Debra hangs up......


well, I enjoyed meself!!!

A fun way to get rid of these people (apart from putting the phone down) is to tell them you'd love one but you have just been made bankrupt. Is that ok on your easy credit terms ?

"me mams got a club foot"....isn't that a vin garbutt song?

the notion of the British being generally polite is a dying one these days. Slamming the phone down is the norm for me now, I don't even have the courtesy to say goodbye any more.

I had to ring the Orange call centre at darlo yesterday.


What a fucking nightmare and all at international rates, bear in mind this is because their bloody phone which I'm paying for doesn't work.

Kev: xxxxxxx3101
Bimbo: xxxxxxx3131
Kev: No, xxxxxxx3101
Bimbo: xxxxxx3121
Kev No, xxxxxx310ZERO1
Bimbo: xxxxxx31001
Kev, Jeezus.
Bimbo: I'm not getting an account under that number sir.
Kev: Well if you put the right one in I'm sure you'll get my account.
Bimbo: Mumble mumble mumble
Kev: Oh bollocks
Bimbo; no need to swear sir.
Kev: Well if you can hear me swear, how come you can't hear my number?? My Mother called it selective deafness.

Bimbo: Pardon sir??

Eventually Kev gets signed onto Orange.co.uk where to his amazement he discovers that their site is down for 'maintenance.' On a Monday morning?? Good move.

could be, if its a nasally oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh meeeeeeeeeeeee
maaaaaaaaaaaams got a cluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuub foooooooot

she cannae get uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup the staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiirrrrrs

yes