When I used to work my ticket as a nipper, me dad used to threaten to send me to the 'naughty boys home', where there were no toys, you had to eat food you didn't like or starve, and TV was banned.

Sometimes he would pretend to ring them up to come and fetch me. It worked a treat until I was about 5, when the threat of violence became a really effective deterrent. He never actually had to bray me though, just brandish his belt.

Our lass thinks these methods are a bit cruel, and doesn't want me to use them on the bairn when he's older. So I've proposed to threaten him with solitary confinement in the understairs cupboard, or the shed that's full of spiders. She doesn't agree with these either, so does anyone have any advice on how to keep sprogs in line?

Remember you're there to be the kids parent and not their mate, establish who's the boss and if you threaten something, back it up ... and never ever let a kid have you fighting between yourselves, because kids soon learn how to play one parent off against another. Most important of all, give them your time and attention, working to give them all the gadgets is no substitute.

Dangle them by the heels over the fence of the lion compound at the zoo. That usually works.

I remeber one bloke who I knew who was a foster parent and he told me he had a massive volume on child care and whenevr he had a problem with the kids he'd get out the book .... and batter them with it.

in the end there is only one winner and that is them,they can twist you around their little finger with the least effort,kids are like their mothers they just screw with your head,they have perfect timing to drop you in the smelly stuff,they can recite word for word what you think of someone and usually repeat it when that person is there and the more you try to shut them up the more adamant they are to repeat it,in the end just promise them something nice,you know it makes sense

My sister's bairn did that when she named her next door neighbour 'the gimp'.

The first thing you should do is sort out your lass as what you're going to do.

Kids are great manipulators and they'll go from parent to parent to try and get their way. If the kids come and ask our permission for something a bit dodgy, if you're their dad, ask 'what did your mother say' and vice versa of you're their mother.

Every now and then let the kids have a victory so that they still thnk they can pull a con.

In our last house, the lads nicknamed the window cleaner 'shifty'... knock at the door and our 6 year old little darling runs to answer it, our lass shouts 'who is it' ...she shouts back ...'it's shifty come for his window cleaning money'....

love them and cherish them, as snowy says let them know the bounderies, and if they cross them, what ever punishment you threatened ...carry it out...no matter how much it hurts....you... in the end you will have a beautifull family who know how to respect each other, my eldest are 27 and 29 even now if they say or do anything that they think is " near the mark" they look over to me and with one look they know where they stand.. it's all about learning respect, and the old some peeps think is out of date, manners and understanding...kids eh who'd have em...

Lock the wife in a cupboard full of spiders, then go to the pub, when you come back the kids will be knackered from all the carnage they have inflicted on your house, Give your belt to the missuss (will be a gibbering wreck) to sort the kids out for knacking the house then you will have the telly all night in peace whenever you want it.

mister ed has it spot on. There is very little respect left in the world. My method is simple, they get warned, they get a final warning then they get a smack. I think im firm but fair. They get praised when they do good and punished when they do bad.

If i was ever naughty my dad used to cut the plugs off my telly and my sega mega drive...

Bet they had small leads onthem after a while...

CALL THE SOCIAL WORKERS NOW!!!
love and respect your kids and they will do the same for you

exactly. I used to watch thinking 'shit there wont be any left soon'. I tried wiring one back up once, when he had gone out. he found out, i think he was quite impressed although he didnt let on

You rang?

firm but fair
I recieved plenty of smacks/slaps/batterings and ultimately you lose respect for your parents behaviour when you have your own kids. I don't believe in smacking them.

But if you do threaten a punishment like snowy says stick to it...if you tell em they have to go to bed and its a lovely sunny day and their mates are out playing no matter how many times they cry to be let off,dont! they wont do it again....!


but, I've been really lucky with my two, they really are no bother! mind it could all change when they hit their teens!! Jack does this year! fuck!I'm gonna be a dad to a teenager!!!!! where DOES the time go?!

What Salty said.

Its mad isn't it?!
i never noticed time go by untill I had kids, now I can feel it slipping through my fingers.

Supporting Pools?


Kids eh!

i've done a few slaps to the bottom of the youngun but i prefer to slap her mam's bottom than hers to be honest.

we have tried all the above methods from smacking to witholding pocket money and hopefully our 3 have turned out ok.
mind now they are all in their 20's they are more of a worry as now we have no say in what they do with their lives. all 3 have left home but came back so we have done something wrong

a lot of them do that these days no6, i did, lived on my own for a year and it's reet expensive.

Kids go off try to do it on there own but realise they then can't afford nights out, meals out, mobile phones etc etc

So they come back, you do there washing and make there tea giving them enough money to go wild.

Bobs your uncle.

that will be why my leccy bills are fookinh huge