Following on from Mutleys trips to the dirty capital. What weeke break destinations would you recommend?

Personally; apart from the obvious ones of Paris and Barcelona, I found Vilnius to be a really interesting place and Budapest is incredible. Both would be on my list.

Would reccommend Milan, great place.
Would like to go to Tallin, supposed to be really nice.

Darlington or Middlesbrough

Tallin's really good and so is Prague. You can also have a really good night out in Reykyavik now that the value of the Krona has plummeted.

Mr Geoff, where did you find that avatar?? I love it!

Vienna or Berlin are great for short breaks, I went to Iceland many years ago and loved it but it wasn't half expensive, Prague was good until I got deported and almost caused a diplomatic incident when they refused to return my passport.

Amsterdam is great for stag parties and I have been many times but it's not call Shit City for no reason, Mr M you need to watch for dog mines on every street and thats not easy after 18 pints of strong lager.

Ayamonte.

AT Funnygirls in Blackpool my escorts Mr Ripper and Mr Mutley.

Without doubt Rome, acres and acres of history all accessible by easy walking, excellent food and fine wine and drink at little cost if you can stay away from the tourist traps.

Bournemouth on the last day of the season a few years ago was canny like.

As was Exeter a few years before that.

Sydney's a canny weekend (if you're gay).

That's if he lasts the weekend!

The last time his arse split late on Sunday afternoon.

Went to Prague a couple of times about five or six years ago and that place was superb, had two brilliant weekends. I've heard it may have got a little too mainstream now, loads of stag do's and infalted prices it was really cheap the first time we went. Have also enjoyed Riga, Krakow, and Berlin. Liked Barcelona but didn't like paying £7 for a pint.

Six of us are going for a weekend break in three weeks actually to Gdansk (got the flights for less than £20 and digs for £30 for 4 nights!!). Looking forward to that one, anyone been?

Preston Park

Krakow is superb. Great night out and very attractive ladies!!

The Staincliff

You told me the Staincliffe was disappointing. Have they slipped you a brown envelope??

The Staincliffe was anything but disappointing when I was there with you.

Lovely weekend that one at Bournemouth....... had to take our lass though.... and she went shopping in Boscombe

The wife's sister came along to go to Monkey World that weekend.
The staff at the hotel and at every chippy we went to were all Portuguese, but the hotel and food were excellent (just round the corner from where Pools were staying, and the fish and chips were only beaten by a place in Alnwick run by an Italian!
Kept the parking ticket I got in the car park at the ground as I hadn't noticed the tiny pay-and-display signs, but luckily the Rsole who ticketed me got my reg no wrong! Put 890 instead on 980.

We stopped at Milford on Sea and on the morning of the match, which was a gorgeous day, decided to walk to Hurst Castle, which is at the end of a shingle spit We walked and walked and walked and it seemed to get no fooking closer, with the sea breaking either side of us. The distance turned out be the equivalent of walking from the Marina to Seaton golf club and when we finally got there, there was a barrier of barbed wire ..... and a sign that read.... WARNING, AT HIGH WATER, THIS CAUSEWAY CAN BE COVERED BY THE TIDE..... we got back in record time ......... wasn't gonna miss the match.

still like prague for a short break
hotel duo was £150 for 3 nights in a suite
beer @ 60p a pint
and some really stunning women about

Is it still that cheap?

if you dont drink in the old town square or wenceslas square yes
off the tourist trail into the local bars everytime

It is a great place like, as you say it takes some beating when it comes to a weekend break.

Nobody has been to Gdansk then?

I went travelling around Eastern Europe in 2007 and planned to do it but ended up going straight to Warsaw and Krakow instead. One of the lads I went travelling with finally got their last summer and said we missed out big time so it must be good.

How about a " grab a granny" weekend in Eastbourne ..

In Eastbournes case as I sped through last October, 'Grab a great Granny' would be more appropriate.

I told you The Stainclff was full of faded glory and now lets people like me in.

Had a great weekend there, saw John Darwin's launching pad, visited scenes of past adventures in Seaton and loved the walk around the headland with Verrills Cod'n'Chips'n'Scraps and discussions with other visiting exiles (I knew they were visitors, they were doing the Telegraph cryptic crossword) about when Pools beat Bolton 8-1.

Also a vsit to The Nursery on Monday night for the reconvened FC with a great reception from the landlord who knew the participants in the Bunker chart topper for which I might add I supplied the words (I think) to The Hartlepool Monkey via our (chinese) young'n.

Budapest for a weekend, give me a stay in Hartlepool any day.

Yes, Frodraff, but none of those things was in the Staincliffe!

But then false memory syndrome's everywhere, isn't it Richard?
As I recall, you did nothing but complain

Can't comment on The Staincliffe, never been there.

However The Staincliff is an old victorian hotel in a brilliant location with great views across Hartlepool Bay which features lots of interesting shipping movement. The rooms are a bit cramped cos they've had to put en-suites into an old building and the decor is a bit strange, it's still comfy though. There's good value early bird special in the restaurant and it was all part of a really good weekend!

Shame about Mr Head complaining about The Staincliffe but you seem to have been happy with the place.

Subsidence, too, huh?
But that was one of the things Mr Head didn't mind

My dear Grabec, what about that wonderful weekend at the Staincliffe?

The longing, the words of passion, our hearts beating as one as we exchanged vows and bodily fluids. How our Jane Austen-like love affair became unbridled. How the Tabboo and niggers flowed as you loosened your duffle coat and I unleashed the beast.

Ahhhhhh....

Dear boy, how could I forget?

Just a minute, I haven't got a duffel coat

.. but the transvestite welder he drugged and took back to his den of iniquity did.... his erotic memories are becoming confused.

Oh you haven't, have you...

Look, the question of my overcoats is a personal matter

Unlike your knickers.

Well if the owner has his way it'll be knocked down and replaced with an ultra modern version in the near future..

Best weekends away..

Cologne..great bars, friendly locals and Pascha lap dancing club (all you can drink) 25 euros

Hamburg...Lovely City, lively nightlife and great red light district

Salzburg...Beautiful surroundings, cheaper than you think, great nightlife

All these ex Russian gaffs people talk about...fine but natives are grumpy as f@ck

Cologne .. Full of homos.

Hamburg .. Full of whores.

Salzburg .. Smells of shit.

Russia .. Full of whores called Svetlana.

That was the Saturday night that your lass hid your trousers so you couldn't go out again after causing the ruckus at the pub if I remember rightly??

A packed oub but we still had a twenty yard seclusion zone around us....

I spewed in the nightclub if I remember correctly. Didn't stop me from continuing to drink like, in fact I hardly broke stride just leaned over to miss the table, emptied my belly and carried on.

yeah - you were sat talking to me, then said, "hang on a minute," followed by what I thought was an impersonation of David Bellamy inspecting that plant to the right of you, then turning back round and carrying on talking from where we left off

Grown men spewing up after being on the drink is very homosexual.