I haven't me, like

there's usually a baby inside so I can't play with a crib

played about 15 times, won 2. so 15-2

I hope you didn't crib about it

you'll get given your cards making wisecracks like that

I domino me arse from me elbow sometimes

Darts the way to do it.

eeh you're a card

shit - duplication

SNAP!!!

I hope nobody will pub me nose in it

Arrows by any other name.

a bloke throws a treble 20, a single 20, then the third one bounces off the wire and kills the nun sat on the table nearby.
The scorer shouts, "One nun dead and eighty"!!!!

A bloke walks into a bar and screams OWWWW

It was an iron bar.

bloke goes into a bar, big giraffe dead on the floor. He shouts at the barman "oi! what's that lyin there for" the barman says "it's not a lion, it's a giraffe"

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck"! "I see you're eyes are working" replies the duck. "And you talk!" exclaims the landlord. "I see you're ears are working too" says the duck, "now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly," says the landlord, " sorry about that, it's just we don't get many talking ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?" "I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck. So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

This continues for about 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ring leader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him: "You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!" "Sounds marvellous" says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call, he could earn thousands"

So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The landlord says,"Hey Mr Duck I reckon I can line you up with a top job. Paying really good money!" "Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus" says the landlord.
"The circus?" the duck enquires.
"That's right" replies the landlord.
"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?"
"That's right!" says the landlord
The duck looks confused. "What the hell do they want with a plasterer?"

go and get it and I'll have a game

but if the lights go out, we could light new one and keep playing

i dig crib

How come no one's said........one for his knob!........a cribbage term I'm lead to believe but what it means, god only knows

I was thinking that.
I think it has something to do with having a jack of the same suit as the turned card when adding up your take. It's ages since I played the game. There used to be some good cribbage leagues in Hartlepool. Do those leagues still exist???