Ringing the phone box outside the United bus station in Church Sq and saying to whoever answered: "The eagle has landed."

From work we could see who was standing in the queues. So, when the person who answered said he'she didn't know what you were talking about, we'd describe a person at bus stop and get our phone answerer to pass on the message.

Larks a plenty. Sometimes a good barney too.

A couple of years ago a bloke on the London Underground knocked over a woman on the train in the rush to get on to get to Heathrow and was very unapologetic, so my mate spent the best part of 15 minutes tying all of his bag straps to one of the standing rails. Probably missed his flight

Almost as in "prevented just in time" or as in "deposited on the neighbour's drive instead"?

when I go to Tony's chinese 'food' emporium on Amber St I like to wind him up by ringing their phone and watchin him leg up and down to answer it only for me to hang up! his frustration is hilarious!

after a bit he always says to his lad not to pick it up, but cant resist the thought of losing money so relents and picks up.

I hang up, we giggle like girls....


bad lads

People still ring my house for Setanta disconnections every now and then, so I offer them deals including free services and half price subscriptions. Even going as far as giving them reference numbers and telling them to call back through to the main customer services to collect their loyalty bonus

A mate of mine from the town did exactly the same sort of thing to a teacher he (and everyone else) hated when he was at school, all weird and wonderful things from gay porn to subscription to magazines dedicated to bagpipes. They're now colleagues at the same school!

the usual get someone to ring 0871 9118000 as a mr lyon has rang for them and can they ring him back
but the best one someone i know ( ) did was
get a planning application notice scan it and ammend the details so it was for a set of public toilets at south fens turning circle on the land next to a particular nuisance who used to complain about the buses having their engines running in winter to keep warm so someone who works at the council went and put the notice on the lampost next to her house on the day the council broke up for their fortnights christmas holidays.
she went ballistic when they reopened getting her local ward councillor geoff lilley involved and the people from the council came up and were ringing all the departments and trying to find out who was responsible.
any way 2 weeks later and a single toilet turns up one night with a bit of bog paper nailed to the tree next to it
then a planning permission notice for a mobile phone mast next to her house
then a gnome from her garden went missing and went round the world and kept sending her pics of himself to her
he even went to cardiff and was featured in monkey business and even had his own website
eventually he went home with 26 long lost relatives he met on his travels all with their names on their bases
if i knew how to get the pics up there are loads from australia usa turkey magaluf spain scotland
now that was a good one
or so my mate says

Top stuff Mr Bus!!!

I like to turn 'em round on the jolly pranksters.

I wanted to knock down my garden fence as it was old and knackered and build a nice wall with gateposts all to match the house. I consulted the council and was told I could go up two metres without planning permission so I got a man, gave him money and off he went.

Now my mate, who's Dad is Chief Building Advisor at the local council, pulled me up in the pub next night, quiz night, very busy, and said I had to call his Dad. I sulked for a bit but the moment my head hit the pillow I thought 'Wind Up!!'

Our young 'un was in the pub with us that night and when we set off in the morning for work, I said 'we have to find a way to get back at him,' and she said 'oh he told you.' I said 'No, you just did.....'

So when I knew he wouldn't be answering his phone I called and got his answer service. I said, 'I called your Dad's department and he wasn't there so I spoke to someone else, the wall has to come down so can I store the blocks and cement and that in you garden while the planning permission comes through, mate??'

That was about 8.45 am. He rang 16 times before dinner on three numbers and I never answered one of them. When I came back from the sarny shop I answered the phone as a matter of reflex and he was hyperventilating on the other end.

'You've got to ring me Dad!!!'

I said, 'He's not in he's been called away on a job. Anyway can I store this stuff in your garden while I sort it out?? It's only six packs of blocks and a pallet of cement. The gadgie said it'll only be about ten weeks. If it kills your lawn maybe your Dad can get it paid for eh??'

Anyway, I cracked at that point and told him to never kid a kidder. he called me a damned bounder and his Mam bollocked him so he was getting it from all sides 'cos his Dad was waiting for the phone call all morning and had blocked his incoming. Mind he does work for the council.........

A Techy one!

My former boss was a bit of a prankster on the side, but we got back at him one time at least. We all had the same model of mobile phone, so we recorded the ringtone he used on one of our PCs, then copied it to his PC and set it as his New Email Notification. The following morning, he gets an email and reaches for the phone - only to be mystified as to why there's no missed call or anything.....

On our first holland trip with pools after Humps had missed the penna at Cheltenham we were sat on a embankment at Nortdoorp in the sun slurping lager.
Humps and Taffy Williams went on to the pitch at half time for a bit of shooting practice and i shouted thats it Richie brush up on your penaltys son well the whole place laughed including the players but Richie never seen the funny side of it..
May i just say i was egged on by Mr chunky monkey.

As some know we had a sports writer for the mail called James Bond who covered the pools games well awhile ago i rang him as we are still pals and this guy answered the phone.

Me. is james there.
gadgie. james who.
me silence then james bond.
Gadgie. think you are a clever silly boy Eh i will rip your fooking face off and he went off it.
Me.hung up.

A Teacher at my old school used have a model skeleton and we nicked loads of blue tack made a cock and put it on the skeletons head she came in and hit the roof.

Sometimes the simple ones are the best!

so hands up whose rang the phone number

Humphreys is a miserable fuc-ker - fact. I seen him in the service station while he was waiting to be picked up by the team bus, en route to Stockport (the night Gabbiadini scored that solo goal after beating 6 men). We had just beat Grimsby 8-1 on the Friday night previous, and I joked to him that Pools were shite - we should have got nine instead.
He just blanked us with a look of disgust

Back to pranks - we got the plant manager Bart Simpson style a few months ago. We left a note on his desk to contact Mr Train urgently, and left the number for him to ring.
One of the lads waited in the next office and he came back a few minutes later. He heard him on the phone, and the call didn't last long. When he came out my shift mate said to him, "choo, choo!!" It was the number for North Yorkshire Moors Steam railway

The cook on a submarine, not a nuclear one, in the early 80's was looking forward to his forthcoming trip, when with 24 hours to go he was told he wasn't going,...he was distraught as he'd made all his plans for the places he was gonna visit, he spent the night in the galley, took all the labels off every tin and swapped them over at random.... when the switch was discovered it was too late.... rice pudding on toast anyone?

When I lived in Ardrossan road we go up to the 'New Houses' with a box of drawing pins, stick them in dog poo then leave them sitting, pointy end up and covered in dog poo on the thumb plates of the back gates. This was in the vain hope that some gadgie would come gome from the club along the back alley, and open the gate.
Whats the first thing you do when you prick your thumb?

Suck it

I wonder if I ever got anyone

When I was nineteen and worked down London I had a boss that couldnt seem to stop scratching herself down below.
When it came to the invisible santa thing I got her name out of the hat.
So there we were, all stood round in a circle, watching each other open our presents, some funny, some canny good, all smiles......then its her turn and she unwraps a bottle of dettol and a wire brush, looks up puzzled and everything goes very quiet