Has anyone seen tonights mail!

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Her is the TXT if you can't read it....

Andy Dibbles-Gloves is the toast of the football world this morning after being unveiled as HUFC's's oldest ever player yesterday. If, as expected, Dibbles-Gloves makes his HUFC's debut this Saturday, he will become the oldest player to ever play in the football league.

Despite entering adulthood before the likes of Billy Wright and Bobby Charlton were even a twinkle in their parents' eyes, Dibbles-Gloves's skills were unknown to the wider footballing world before a chance encounter changed his life overnight. With HUFC's suffering an unexpected injury crisis, their chief scout, Tommy Miller, has been scouring the hedge backs looking for experienced mature players to add stability to the young HUFC's squad.

Miller was actually sent to Brinky by the HUFC's Manager to check out players in the local leagues. While Miller was wandering past a local school playing field at brinkburn he spotted a group of children playing. But it was only when one of them kicked the ball out of play that his eyes really lit up. Rather than kicking the ball straight back onto the field, Dibbles-Gloves, who was also wandering past the school at the time with an extra large KeBab, launched straight into an eye-catching routine of flicks and volleys reminiscent of a young Maradona. After catching his breath Miller exclaimed "That could be my man!" He called Dibbles-Gloves over, introduced himself and said "We're playing a reserve match tomorrow night against Leeds, if we pay your expenses will you turn out?" Dibbles-Gloves smiled and said "are you buying the pizza's.

At the reserve match the following night the HUFC's Manager and chief scout watched an amazing display of football skills from the Umpteen year old Dibbles-Gloves. "I can't believe he is Umpteen, still if the boy's good enough it does not matter how old he is, get him signed up before Penney sees him," the HUFC's boss said. "Make sure that he has a Parmo and check everything's ok with the take-away people first."

Dibbles-Gloves will team up with his new HUFC's team-mates tomorrow before making his senior debut this weekend. A number of potential sponsors are now reported to be lining up to have the attractive Dibbles-Gloves endorse their products. These include Al's Pizza and Burger King as well as Stanna Stair Lifts, Motorbility, Thextons Pipes and Kanga Incontinence Pants. Life is certainly turning into a game of two halves for Andy Dibbles-Gloves who has now found his second youth and almost literally, has his stomach at his feet.

dont forget he has your off spring has a hostage

How strange that that photo has him queuing up in a takeaway......

I was about to say the same thing

apparently he's as fast as Foley getting to the front of the queue,I mean behind the defence, and displays tremendous finishing once he has the burger in his hands.......erm I mean ball at his feet.

Incidentally, that sauce bottle needs de-crusting......

35p for a Hartlepool Mail

Whats Jack Dee doing in the chippy?

Is that Dibble? First time I have seen a picture of him. The fat 'lovely lovely person'!