Fooking brilliant

Without doubt, the best comedy sketch in the history of the world.

13 amp.

Nah! Yer wrong. The best sketch ever was the dead parrot

I have been a Monty Phyton fan since they started in 1969, and certainly the 'Parrot' sketch is one of their finest works. But 'Fork Handles' has got to be the funniest/cleverest/best timed comedy sketch off all time.

'tis true

Not many people know this, but it all started with this sketch, when Monty Python wasn't even a twinkle in its dad's eye...

Can you imagine what the Pythons would have been like with Tim Brooke-Taylor and Marty Feldman as part of the group? Was that from At Last The 1948 Show?

It was indeed. But would they have been better or worse? Depends whether you keep Palin and Idle as well as the other two I suppose - but if you did you might start having salary cap problems!

PS did you notice the cameo appearance from Barry Cryer at the start?

One of the many comedy shows he was, and still is, a scriptwriter for.

:

In a hardware shop. Ronnie Corbett is behind the counter, wearing a warehouse jacket. He has just finished serving a customer.
CORBETT (muttering): There you are. Mind how you go.
(Ronnie Barker enters the shop, wearing a scruffy tank-top and beanie)
BARKER: Four Candles!
CORBETT: Four Candles?
BARKER: Four Candles.
(Ronnie Corbett makes for a box, and gets out four candles. He places them on the counter)
BARKER: No, four candles!
CORBETT (confused): Well there you are, four candles!
BARKER: No, fork 'andles! 'Andles for forks!
(Ronnie Corbett puts the candles away, and goes to get a fork handle. He places it onto the counter)CORBETT (muttering): Fork handles. Thought you said 'four candles!' (more clearly) Next?
BARKER: Got any plugs?
CORBETT: Plugs. What kind of plugs?
BARKER: A rubber one, bathroom.
(Ronnie Corbett gets out a box of bath plugs, and places it on the counter)
CORBETT (pulling out two different sized plugs): What size?
BARKER: Thirteen amp!
CORBETT (muttering): It's electric bathroom plugs, we call them, in the trade. Electric bathroom plugs!
(He puts the box away, gets out another box, and places on the counter an electric plug, then puts the box away)
BARKER: Saw tips!
CORBETT: Saw tips? (he doesn't know what he means) What d'you want? Ointment, or something like that?
BARKER: No, saw tips for covering saws.
CORBETT: Oh, haven't got any, haven't got any. (he mutters) Comin' in, but we haven' got any. Next?
BARKER: 'O's!
CORBETT: 'O's?
BARKER: 'O's.
(He goes to get a hoe, and places it on the counter)
BARKER: No, 'O's!
CORBETT: 'O's! I thought you said 'O! (he takes the hose back, and gets a hose, whilst muttering) When you said 'O's, I thought you said 'O! 'O's!
(He places the hose onto the counter)
BARKER: No, 'O's!
CORBETT (confused for a moment): O's? Oh, you mean panty 'o's, panty 'o's! (he picks up a pair of tights from beside him)
BARKER: No, no, 'O's! 'O's for the gate. Mon repose! 'O's! Letter O's!
CORBETT (finally realising): Letter O's! (muttering) You had me going there!
(He climbs up a stepladder, gets a box down, puts the ladder away, and takes the box to the counter, and searches through it for letter O's)
CORBETT: How many d'you want?
BARKER: Two.
(Ronnie Corbett leaves two letter O's on the counter, then takes the box back, gets the ladder out again, puts the box away, climbs down the ladder, and puts the ladder away, then returns to the counter)
CORBETT: Yes, next?
BARKER: Got any P's?
CORBETT (fed up): For Gawd' sake, why didn' you bleedin' tell me that while I was up there then? I'm up and down the shop already, it's up and down the bleedin' shop all the time. (He gets the ladder out, climbs up and gets the box of letters down, then puts the ladder away) Honestly, I've got all this shop, I ain't got any help, it's worth it we plan things. (He puts the box on the counter, and gets out some letter P's) How many d'you want?
BARKER: No! Tins of peas. Three tins of peas!
CORBETT: You're 'avin' me on, ain't ya, yer 'avin' me on?
BARKER: I'm not!
(Ronnie Corbett dumps the box under the counter, and gets three tins of peas)
CORBETT (placing the tins on the counter): Next?
BARKER: Got any pumps?
CORBETT (getting really fed up): 'And pumps, foot pumps? Come on!
BARKER (surprised he has to ask): Foot pumps!
CORBETT (muttering, as he goes down the shop): Foot pumps. See a foot pump? (He sees one, and picks it up) Tidy up in 'ere.
(He puts the pump down on the counter)
BARKER: No, pumps fer ya feet! Brown pump, size nine!
CORBETT (almost at breaking point): You are 'avin' me on, you are definitely 'avin' me on!
BARKER (not taking much notice of Corbett's mood): I'm not!
CORBETT: You are 'avin' me on! (He takes back the pump, and gets a pair of brown foot pumps out of a drawer, and places them on the counter) Next?
BARKER: Washers!
CORBETT (really close to breaking point): What, dishwashers, floor washers, car washers, windscreen washers, back scrubbers, lavatory cleaners? Floor washers?
BARKER: 'Alf inch washers!
CORBETT: Oh, tap washers, tap washers? (He finally breaks, and makes to confiscate his list) Look, I've had just about enough of this, give us that list. (He mutters) I'll get it all myself! (Reading through the list) What's this? What's that? Oh that does it! That just about does it! I have just about had it! (calling through to the back) Mr. Jones! You come out and serve this customer please, I have just about had enough of 'im. (Mr. Jones comes out, and Ronnie Corbett shows him the list) Look what 'e's got on there! Look what 'e's got on there!
JONES (who goes to a drawer with a towel hanging out of it, and opens it): Right! How many would ya like? One or two?
(He removes the towel to reveal the label on the drawer - 'Bill hooks'!)

Parrot sketch is good. In fact very very good but it doesn't hold a single candle to this one, let alone four. Ronnie Barker was simply the best ever.

C4 did a programme called 100 Greatest comedy sketches. No 1 was Lou & Andy from Little Britain.

What a joke. Who is going to remember them in 30 years?

I wouldn't mind remembering the best bits of Little Britain, John, if only I could obliterate the worst ones

I got my other half some Monty Python dvds for Christmas and what came as a surprise is how John Cleese is easily the least funny, contrary to memories. For me the only sketches he really excels at are the ones where he's the host at chat show/political interviews, which he does to perfection

There in lies the difference between Little Britain / Catherine Tate and the likes of Python and Ronnie Barker.

Each episode of Little Britain is exactly the same with a few variations as is Catherine Tate. An old woman who swears a lot, a woman who screams all the time, A teenager who says 'am I bothered' and an unhelpful travel agent. The only different sketch I've seen was the one where there was a retreat for Gingers including the immortal line 'someone even called me Scottish' other than that all are the same each week.

Python and Ronnie(s) came up with a completely new set of sketches each episode with the former even throwing in a couple of classic films to boot.

Ronnie Barker's wordplay was genius

He was definitely the main man....in fact not sure how far Corbett would have got without him

What I also don't like (and what you are about to read is probably non-pc) is how unsavoury the Little Britain two are personally. I mean, you wouldn't want to come across Walliams in an alley on a dark night, would you?!
The unsavouriness seems to get in the way of the humour, for me

You must agree Mr Grabec that Ronnie Corbett's face during that sketch is hilarious.

Yes, it was to be sure.



(But who are you calling MR Grabec It's Brian, to you)

Hello Brian i'm Kevo.

They don't make comedy like they used to