tonight is our works annual party. the theme is moulin rouge. taxis will be ferrying staff to the ramside in durham once their shift is over so that they can check into their rooms and freshen up before the champagne reception at 7.30.

after that guests will be served a 3 course meal followed by the staff annual awards ceremony and entertainment. there is, as always, a free bar.

there will be about 150 staff in attendance, 120 of them female, of whom about 50 are aged between 17 and 23.

everything is paid for including breakfast and transport home.

instead of attending this free beano yours truly will be sat in the mill house seats in the cold and rain watching hartlepool united play cheltenham in a relegation 6 pointer.

if porter only gets 3 minutes and brown doesn't start i will not be a happy chappy.

my boss asked me why i would be " watching that shite when you could be staring as gorgeous lasses in burlesque outfits while being fed and watered on the company. "

i replied " watching pools will probably make me despondent, and i may catch a cold. if i saw abbey taylor dressed as a stripper i would have a heart attack and it may kill me. "

no contest really.

He'd only be hung over and put on lack lustre display tomorrow if he imbined tonight....

Hope you all didn't get too cold..

BTW its pissing down out here....

been getting texts off me mates at work since about 8 having my life. one of the lads, dowson, is a pools regular who had the common sense to miss the game tonight.

another mate , thompson, has apparently pulled " little blondie " off new claims and wangled her into his room.

and apparently abbey taylor looks absolutely drop dead. even more so than normal.

i mulled on this when, after walking home in the rain, i discovered i had locked myself out by forgetting my keys, in the haste to get to tonights footballing feast.

i have come to the conclusion that i am a fookin sad, pathetic, thick as 2 short planks freak who has shiit for brains.

in fact i came to this conclusion early in the second half when me and the bairn spent about five minutes looking at a light in the sky above jacksons landing and were arguing about whether it was a plane or a helicopter.

indeed i made this very point to mr kolley kibber about 10.45 on my way to belmont gardens to get my spare keys.

in fact i came to this conclusion early in the second half when me and the bairn spent about five minutes looking at a light in the sky above jacksons landing and were arguing about whether it was a plane or a helicopter.