*Looks towards Mr Head Bandage*

The mrs went to get into the car this morning and there was no power at all when she put the key into the ignition and turned it, no dash lights, fans don't work, radio doesn't work wipers don't work etc. The headlights, interior lights and central locking work fine though.

I tried to jump start it with no joy and I have currently got the battery on charge, fingers crossed this is all that is wrong, i have a feeling that it could be something more serious seeing as I couldn't jump start it earlier.

Anyone have any ideas what it might be?

you bought a pup!

Well it has took over 7 years for it to play up so I can't complain too much

I am hoping it might only require a new battery, the car has around 117,000 miles on the clock and it is still the original battery that is in it

its fooked of course

get a new one

Get a new what battery or car?

er, both ?

battery but to make sure put the battery back on and take it to advanced in burn road they will check the battery and sell you a new one when its confirmed your 7 year old battery is fooked

Sounds like the battery Mr Fens........PM me if your struggling

Speaking of head bandages, did you see their no.7's yesterday?? Twas a beauty!

I think it's simpler than that.

You let a woman get in a car.

It's a bit like giving a monkey a typewriter and expecting a novel.

Looks like it could be a bit more than the battery, I have had it charging all day and I still have the same results.

The puzzling part for me is that it was working perfectly last night yet come this morning it is just dead

I assume youve checked all fuses ?

First thing I did check, they are all in solid, unless one of them is knackered which I wouldn't know how to check

Lick your fingers, touch both ends and then crank the key.

Ermmm Fens mate, why would charging a knackered battery all day change anything? Have you put a meter across it?

have you just washed the car?
my next door neighbour has the same problem
washed his car and found the battrey flat

in that case it sounds like possible immobiliser fault
given that the lights etc are working but nothing controlled by immobiliser.
by any chance you had the key open to replace battery in fob cos i know some vauxhalls have the immobiliser chip in the key and they have been known to fall out

Mr Bus the key doesn't open up, well not to my knowledge anyway, it is the old fashioned put the key into the lock to open it kind, no fancy pressing of buttons or owt

Mr I, I don't know if the battery is knackered or not, I just assumed it was flat so thought trying to charge it first might have helped, I don't have a meter to put across it anyway

what sort of car is it fensy

Try the battery from your car on hers, that at least will tell you if its the battery or not.

Nissan Almera

Might give her battery a bash in the morning if I get time, otherwise it will have to wait until Saturday morning

Never heard it called that before.

i can drop you a circuit tester off for you to check the fuses as i wont be needing it at the moment

dont you make nissans?

Yes I make them but I have nothing whatso ever to do woth the mechanical side though



Cheers Mr Bus

I could always collect it from you in the morning if you are about, the mrs has a hospital appointment in the morning so I could get them on the way there or the way back, would save you a trip. Unless you are working tomorrow I could meet you at a bus stop

that is no excuse

Howay Mr Bus get round there and give Fensy a tow with the bus, or better still Ste why dont you take the battery to a respectable garage and have them test it .

i offered to when i start work at 5.40 in the morning but he didnt want to come out to play