It was the masons and the Royals what did it, while the security services looked on. An international islamo-zionist cabal valeted the car before they entered it and pieces of the WTC were welded to the vehicle's underside. Diana was not actually in the car upon impact but was secretly placed in the wreckage by ex-KGB druids, operating under instructions from a Chinese triad. Dodi was a secret agent in the Iranian version of MI5 but his body-double took a bullet for him, so Henri the driver could escape through a secret network in the Parisian sewers.

The boot of the Mercedes - which was in fact thirteen cms longer than a production vehicle to incorporate a black hole generator - was filled with Communist gold and Columbian drugs cartels records. Luckily JFK was able to limp away from the crash scene, supported by Elvis, thereby avoiding a re-opening of THAT particular conspiracy theory!

Secret Templars carrying parts of Mary Magdeleine's left tit in conjunction with the French government concealed vital foot and mouth germ samples that would have proved that the Titanic was in fact its sister ship and that the Apollo moon-landing was in fact simulated and filmed in a studio off the King's Road. Mysteriously there were no work-tickets filed for British embassy transport in Kuala Lumpur either.

PS: The CIA made me write that statement, honestly. They are standing behind me with a gun at my head telling me what to write.

You've been reading to many of Grabec's MB articles.

Oh God NO! Anything but that!

explain?

I pinched this from ARRSE.

Have you read the last two Monkey Business issues?

Those two articles have stolen five minutes of my life that I'll never get back.

No idea, it came from here:

http://www.arrse.co.uk

Quite Frankly, apart from the bbc, the princes and the yanks who gives a sh*t. Its the most ridiculous tedius drawn out affair of all time.

Funny how when people die they seem to get 'god-like' status.

It annoys the hell out of me to see dumb sods crying cos somebody they didn't even know has died.

Oi!! I cried me eyes out when Lassie died.

Lassie's dead?!

and, get this, Santa's not real.

YES HE IS

Excellent news, Ripper. I'd already decided to act on Parmo's great advice this morning, to stop caring what people think.....didn't think I'd get the chance to put it into practise so soon, tho. Let me have a list of your pet hates/aversions and I'll work a few into the next episode

It's the best advice!

Especially around here!

But do tell me what drugs you take to get so creative?!

stella and artois

Perhaps the pair of knobheads should of worn seatbelts?, outlandish or what??

she's dead
he's dead
driver's dead

trained security gadge isn't

i hope it was a conspiracy.

The trained security gadgie very nearly was dead though, not in this mishap but a couple of years ago when he was involved in an ambush by insurgents in Iraq. One of his oppos was killed and three wounded, this out of a team of eight.