...murdered someone and got away with it?

I'm trying to think of the best way of disposing of the neighbour with the rotovator.
He's got about 20 square metres of garden to turn over and somehow manages to make the job last a full day.

Don't do it on impulse.

Anybody can do the killing bit, but be sure you know beforehand what you're gonna do with the body so that you can break it up and get rid of it quickly.

rotovator you say, how about you give him a helping hand, would be terrible if he slipped under it and became one with mother earth

This feller did, just do it and hire an American lawyer

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/3847 ... ap_238.jpg[img][/img]

the trial was going on when we played arsenal at highbury when a certain mr bergcamp(?) couldnt hit a barn door with a banjo a bit like mr moore at the moment lets hope it turns out the same on the goalscoring front

this bugga did last weekend

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently, the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

Then, when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because there's no good in leaving it in a deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?

Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You gotta starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body would look like curry to a pisshead.

You gotta shave the head of your victim and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggy's digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't wanna go sifting through pigsh!t, now do ya?

They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to do the job in one sitting so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm.

They will go through a body that weighs two-hundred pounds in about...eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression: 'as greedy as a pig'.

Is he French and therefore slightly simian??

He must have sensed I was talking about him; he's put the rotovator away now.

But he's only got the fookin' chainsaw out now innee.

Hmmm, I think I have an idea.

I like the idea Chip but there might be a bit of a transport problem.

Oh, wake up, Richard You invite him to a match first ....then slip something in his pie

other than the pigs idea another good one must be to bury it in concrete preferably a road bridges foundations, which should be there for a very long time.

I was hoping to do it on the cheap. Anyway, problem solved, I sneaked up behind him and yelled BOO while he had the chainsaw in his hands.
There's no law against practical jokes is there?

i was waiting for that bit off snatch i bet you been waiting ages to type it

I hope this is not a bad moment........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HAQ3pNHwj4