Any ideas where the wife might have hidden it ?

Have you looked in the cupboard under the stairs?

Its Ok,I found it,in the garage behind the bath.

You have a garage behind your bath Groovy?

That must be a bit personal when you're trying to get the car out.

I think he was just trying to differentiate the garage behind the bath from the one under the bed.

Under your t-shirt?

In the aviary??

I got a sports kite last year for my birthday.
I was really looking forward to using it, showing off, soaring and diving, perhaps dipping the edge in the waves in spectacular fashion before taking off up into the skies again.
My son was going to be so impressed with me.
I only used it once and I couldnt get the fecker to stay in the air for longer than five seconds. Then it got all tangled up about three times and I got all pissed off and grumpy and started shouting at everyone.
It went away and I've not seen it since.
I said to our lass last week I might get it out again and she rolled her eyes and said 'dont expect me to be there'.
But I'd love to be able to fly it properly

I've got a huge kite

It ay windy enough for a kite now.

A balsa glider would be ok though

balsa wood doesn't half go up when it catches fire