http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.j ... era118.xml

We are but moments from Poo-Cam which will charge you more if you shit a bit too much. A spokesman for new quango Accu-Poo will say, 'it's only fair that those who abuse their bowel movements should pay more than the rest of us squeaky arsed gets in government who merely talk shit instead of producing it. There will be no Accu-Poo cameras installed in the House Of Commons though'

However Cornelius's heart will be full of joy as he applies for footage from convents under the Freedom Of Information Act......

Get out folks, while you still can.

what if you have the runs..... how do you calibrate the equipment to measure that? ...by volume or weight?

You'll have to prove that you didn't take laxatives.

If they suspect you have, or if you claim someone else shat that one, you'll be charged with attempting to pervert the course of justice and imprisoned like seventy seven and fifty one year old son/father motorists are in the relentless war on crime.

But surely our car tax payments take account of how our vehicles pollute the atmosphere. I pay nearly £200 a year in car tax as I have an old car with a decent sized engine. Therefore are such people going to be penalised twice. This country is fookin shiit

well, let's see what happens when ,let's say 75%, of lorries aren't allowed into London in future - and the people who live in Britain's largest metropolis have no provisions/clothes etc because haulage companies refuse to pay the charge, and thus refuse to enter Greater London. That's not the answer, but what the GLC (or whatever it's called these days) are doing certainly isn't either.

actually, all that will happen is the price of everything will go through the roof even further