I was best man for me mate yesterday, and in my speech I managed to innocently sneak in the phrases:

'She swallowed it as well didn't she?'

and:

'All the lads are definitely up for doing the full weekend, especially if there's a spit roast involved'

Has anyone else heard any others?

"WELL DONE MATE - SHE'S A GREAT CATCH - AND SHE CAN'T HALF SUCK C**K!""""

'Answer your Texts you Brian Cant'!!!!

BTW....that's not part of a speech but aimed at Mr.Parmo!!!! :

I've just put the damn thing back on charge!!!!!! It doesn't have enough power yet to bring up the main menu!!!!!!

I managed to include 'We both knew we'd have to speak in public today and it's quite nerve wracking. So he prepared a few lines, and I prepared a few lines and after we'd snorted them, we were OK!!'

The groom is a drugs counsellor.