Just been involved in a head-on crash with one of those new Skodas, there's feckin jam and sponge everywhere...........



I'll get me coat !

got sent that joke yesterday.

Its a good'un

Apparently, drug addicts in South Yorkshire are getting that desperate they are injecting Ecstasy into the side of their mouths.














It's called E by gum.

Whats ET short for?

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Cos he's only got little stumpy legs!

A quite fit woman goes into a pet shop and asks the bloke behind the counter if they have any kittens for sale "sorry" he replies "we don't have any at the minute"

"Fair enough" says the woman "do you have puppies?" again he respends "sorry love all out of puppies" starting to question what sort of pet shop this she says "you must have some Budgies?"
"No love" is his answer "well what do you have?" asks the woman

The bloke pulls a box from under the desk and says "well we do have this fanny licking bull frog" The woman thinking that sounds a bit of alright decides to buy the frog pays and leaves the shop.

A day later the woman appears back in the shop with the frog explaining that the frog hadn't done anything once she had got home

The bloke says "oh is he playing up again i'm really sorry, get the frog out of the box get on the desk pull up your skirt up and open your legs love"

He turns to the frog and says

"right you little twat watch and learn this is the last time I am going to show you how to do this!!"