Just had a Toasted Tea-Cake with loads of Butter on it.

Real butter I hope

Off the Milkman. And can you still get proper real butter...or Best Butter as me Mam use to call it??
I remember Best Butter being a proper yellow colour...unlike today's butters.

think all butter was called best butter. the other alternative was marge that the tight buggers loved as they could spread it more thinly to last longer. 20th centuries best invention for yorkshire folk.

Margarine is the solidified spunk of Satan.

And "spreadable butter" is the broth of Beelzebub's bollocks too.

Proper butter spreads quicker than our lass's legs on Giro day if you aren't daft enough to put the bastard in the fridge.

Margarine is one chemical equation away from plastic.
The Devil’s spawn

Are you trying to butter me up?

Try it posh like i do and put slices of mature cheeder on them.

Posh, posh is it….I have grouse on my toasted tea cake with a sprinkling of truffle, larks tongues and a touch of Beluga liver..
Tastes fucking awful.

and tastes worse than the plastic container it comes in. what do you expect when it was invented in france by a chemist.

Don,t forget the Wolfs nipple chips.

Our lass made a damn fine panacalty* until she started watching the likes of Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsay and Masterchef. Suddenly all sorts of foodie shite ended up in what was once a highly-anticipated treat.

It took every ounce of tact and diplomacy I had (which is none whatsoever) to reverse this situation, which came to a head when she put some sort of unidentified green shit and fucking croutons in it.

Thankfully the original recipe returned after she noticed how much better Fray Bentos pies tasted when they did the same. And unlike theirs - which went up in price by about two quid - ours went back to cheap as chips without all the seaweed and French shite.


*Other spellings and regional names exist.

always say those gastro places are just a shortened term of what you get there. gastroenterisis.

Is it true about Fray Bentos pies going back to their original recipe Mr.Bottles?? Cos I loved them years ago growing up but the last one I had about 8 years ago was putrid shite!!

Yer can only get the frozen ones…in Finland

Thought it would have been Iceland.

The pastry never seemed to cook properly…you put the bloody oven on the Afterburner setting and still came out like four sheets of soggy wall paper.

Wish I’d thought of that…. Fuck off..

That was my favourite part with Tomato Sauce. Yummy

No he actually means Iceland

Aw come on …brown sauce surely…tomato sauce is for people like our lass.

actually think its supposed to be like that if the top is crispy and flaky. liked them when they were 99p from b and m. now the bastards have even priced them out for many.

Goblin steam puddings with a mince filling were canny too….in that pan of boiling water.

And they don't taste the same either.

can you still buy them or just something else we have lost.

Yes, a year or two ago.

They admitted they had made a mistake, and said they were reverting to the "original recipe". They also stated that this would necessitate a price rise, but were a bit shy of saying how much it would be.

Given that you could get them for a quid at the time, their shyness was justified as they jumped up to three quid once the new stock hit the shelves.

The quality of the last one I had about six months ago suggests that they are tinkering with the recipe again on the sly, and snowy is correct about the pastry turning to shit.

Bastards...!!!

I loved them as a kid, but I can't find them anywhere.

Oh, and you may wish to engage your adult-content filter before searching for "goblin" on the internet...!

Aye, got a shock when I enquired about OMO washing powder.

keep away from flying pioneers in case allcock and brown come up.

Sainsbury's next to the Tall Ships sells them but they aren't Goblin....Fray Bentos.

and they cost a near fortune compared to hollands where you can get 3 for under 4 quid. do not know if you can buy hollands stuff from farmfoods like we can down here.

Yes, I've got four of their steak & kidney puds in the freezer.

They're a bit of a fart on to cook, but very nice when I can be arsed. Bonus is that our lass won't eat kidney so I get all four. She's the same with liver and also avoids any meat on the bone. Not quite sure why her not liking something means I have to cook it, but that's women for ya.

try microwaving them. its less of a farce and they come out fine.

Never thought of that. It just says boil them on the bag, but it might be worth a try.

Obviously the tin foil tray needs removing, but after that how long do you do them for?

And do you do them from frozen or thaw them first?

thaw em out first but her in the kitchen has forgot the length of time needed in the micro.

Can't beat Mr.Brain's Faggots.

Do you care to rephrase that Mutters.

Memories....Faggots....one of the reasons The Bunker was founded nearly 20 years ago.