Just deleting stuff off my phone and found a picture of Mutters with a chunk of carpet he had just cut out from his dinning room floor after the dog had shit on his carpet. Classic Mutley Pure Gold.

Just thought of another funny dog cat story. When I was a teenager we had a Jack Russell who was a lovely well trained dog. But it had a mental issue because whenever it seen the cat from next door in our garden doing a shit ( which it loved doing ) he would sneak up behind it catch the log in his mouth like a cigar and swallow it. He was supposed to be a guard dog not a street warden.

Funny, he implied I went on a bit about my two…….

Ya supposed to put water in the dogs drink bowl.

Not Turps.

No wonder it was depraved.

I reckon this Failure Beer Garden Party will be Awesome.

It's very easy to like you " Our Kev " your a star in my eyes mate.

Rather spend quality time with you and the Mutters at your exclusive V.I.P. party than watching the dross being dished out at Pools.

I remember it well but...dining room?? It was the back room. The dog Skye had the shits. Waste of time mopping it up and scrubbing etc etc. So got the Stanley Knive out. Backroom looked like a Chess Board after I'd finished.
Send me the Pic. Leggie.

Yeh your back room but it is a dinning room to most people and not a computer room or shit zone

Was all packed and ready to drive up to Hartlepool on Saturday morning to see my Mum. With the possibility of going to the Woking game, had I got back in reasonable time. Had previously planned to go Friday after work but swerved it due to the weather warnings for the impending storm.

Got to the front door and realised I didn't have my car keys. Looked in all the usual places- nothing.
Turned my bags out at least twice,, went through all my coats, clothes, down the side of the settee, everywhere - still nothing. Was starting to get a bit of a sweat on about it as I only have the one key and the car was locked- so I knew it must be in the house.

Had the missus whipping it up, out of all proportion, as only women can do- saying

'Oh well, as it had your house key on it as well, You must have dropped them outside, and someone has found them and they are waiting to burgle us, you'll have to ring the locksmith and get them to change the locks on the front door'

6 (SIX - ala vidiprinter) hours elapsed, still nothing - until I went in the bedroom, threw my phone on the bed and heard a jingle - the CAT had been SLEEPING on them!

Fortunately I ignored her advice and saved myself a small fortune getting the locks changed. Also missed the pain of seeing the Woking game- every cloud!

I always find it’s the unscripted bits that get me….if we have company ….. Ratboy likes to sleep on his back and for some god foresaken reason his lipstick pops out …… ..quickly cured by a sprinkle of cold tap water on the offending apendage…..to which he wakes up looking confused.

how do dogs know where they are when they are fast asleep in the back of the car. everyone i have had get up just before i start to come off the A19 before slowing down.

Got to admit it is weird as how they know the regular locations for walks as you get near them.

plus the days of the week when you take em different places. when i come up for a pools game i get up the same time but the dog makes no attempt to wait for me opening the car as is the saturday morning norm.

He must have thought he had a wet dream literally.

You can imagine them getting a bit ’excited’ when a lady dog takes her collar off…and asks him if he fancies a drink and light buffet.