...that Nelson is going to Oxford

Any more daft ones ?

Has your window cleaner fell off his ladder and banged hid head too hard recently...?

God knows,I havent looked at Rivals for ages,does it say theyre trebling his wages too ?

while we are on the subject of window cleaners and Darlo heres a one for yer, stop me if you've heard it.

This darlo fan bored in his flat decides to take a one off the wrist, just as he reaches the money shot up pops the window cleaner at the window, the loid rushes for the kleenex and waits for the inevitable door knock.

When it occurs the loid answers the door asking how much, £2 says the window cleaner, here is £20 says the loid just dont say owt will you.

Later that evening the loids mate calls in and comments on how clean the windows are, and asks how much he paid, £20 replies the loid....



...chuff me says his mate he must have seen you coming.




I'll get me coat.

Stop me if you've heard this one before, nothing's change I still you, oh I still love you. Only slightly, slightly less than I used to, my love.

My window cleaner told me not to read Rivals.

I said, stop going on about it, if you don't like it, don't read it

okay, okay, okay try this,

a journo walking down the street sees a child pinned against a wall by a growling dog and facing certain doom,

when suddenly up runs a football fan and without concern for his own safety grabs the vicious hound by the throat and wrestles it to the ground until alas the mutt is no more.
On seeing this and noting the fans colours, the journo waltzs over to the fan congratulates him on his bravery and asks if he can headline the story in tomorrows daily something to the tune of 'Newcastle fan hero of the hour'.

Hold on a mo says the guy i'm not a castle fan.

O.K says the journo howabout 'Grimsby fan saves the day'

Oh no he says i'm not a Grimsby fan either i'm a Darlo fan, 'oh' says the journo and walks away.

Next morning the headline in the paper reads...


...' Darlo barstard strangles family pet '

The Smiths of course. One of the best bands ever.

Yes but he meant RD.

Roy's Keane oh Roy's Keane. We've never seen a keener window cleaner.
Back up the ladder into each corner. Dunking the chamois. Just think of the goodwill. The ladder's a planet, GroovyCrimes is a star and I am a satellitte, I will be set alight but that's alright.

Don’t say you’ll hold it steady, then you let it go...

Anyhow I wonder where people get all the shit from. I keep hearing that Leeds are signing Monkhouse from that football rumours site. The same one that says we are exchanging Dimi for 250k + Lee-B .

I seen a bird in the nip yesterday, afore she quickly covered up
makes the day bearable that kinda thing!

Did the carpet match the curtains??

nope, only got a quick eyeful, but my eyes are well trained by now where to look and quick!!

So with your shammy in one hand........

What do you hold on to the ladder with??

Don't answer that.........

its a bit green and furry and squirts white bubbly stuff on the windows......

Shrieeeiiiikkkk

you tried penicillin.7 days and sorted.

will that get me water all bubbly and that?!