Two fleas had an arrangement to meet every winter in Miami for a vacation. Last year when one flea gets to Miami he is shivering and shaking.

The other flea asked him "Why are you shaking so badly?"

The first flea says "I rode down here from New Jersey in the moustache of a guy on a Harley"

The other flea says "That's the worst way to travel. Do what I do. Go to the New Jersey airport bar and have a few drinks. While there look for a nice stewardess, crawl up her legs and nestle in where it's warm and cozy. It's the best way to travel that I can think of"

The first flea thanks the second flea and says he will give it a try next winter. A year goes by, when the first flea shows up in Miami, he is shivering and shaking again.

The second flea says "Didn't you try what I told you?"

"Yes" said the first flea. "I did exactly what you told me, I went to the New Jersey airport bar and had a few drinks. Finally this nice young stewardess came in. I crawled in right up to her cozy warm spot. It was so nice and warm that I fell asleep. When I woke up I was back in the moustache of a guy on a Harley"

Man in a waiting room at the doctors and the only other person there is a woman with badly scraped elbows and knees. Eventually he asks her what happened, did she fall off her bike?
She replied …”Actually I was having sex doggy fashion, that’s how this happened”.
The bloke said…”Give it up and just do it the traditional way, laying on your back”.
She moaned ….”I’d love to but dogs breath stinks!.

A man shouted to his wife "Honey come in here and check out my clock"

She found him naked with a hard-on. "That's not a clock!" she shouted

"It is" he replied. "It just needs two hands and a face on it"