I noticed on Facebook the awful news that Phil's lovely daughter Livvy has passed. I don't know the details and I don't suppose they matter for this post, I just thought it deserving of mention on here as Phil was a stalwart of the forum for many years.

Very best wishes to you and the family Phil, There isn't anything I can say other than that. I'm sure you'll treasure the time you had together.

Yes, I responded on facebook. Tragic news. No parent should have to bury their children. It happened to me and it is an experience I wouldn't wish on anybody.
It is awful.

I suppose most parents at some time confront themselves with the heart rending prospect of it happening to any of their children and try and dismiss it as quickly as possible as being too awful to even contemplate. But, it happens, and never having suffered such a soul destroying experience can’t even begin to imagine what the family is going through.
Scant comfort, but they’re still with you though, they never leave your thoughts and memories.

They are still with you Snowy, you are absolutely correct. My daughter passed away fifty years ago and she is forever in my thoughts. I talk to her regularly and she is a great source of strength to me.
Nothing surpasses the pain and if you can endure it, nothing else can hurt you more than the great sense of loss, of anger, of frustration, of why me and the devastation you feel.
I sat beside her for hours and hours and my lasting memory is that she squeezed my finger before she left us, something I was told couldn't and wouldn't happen, but it did. Every time I've asked her she has squeezed it ever since. I am her Dad and am the only person able to say that and that is priceless.
My heart goes out to Phil and his family.

yes, its totally the wrong way around as recent family deaths have proved to me. our kids and their families should be remembering us not the other way around.