Worst hit record in history.

Mr Irrelevant · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm **Posts:** 22669

Putting aside all the shite of the last decade that sounds like a car alarm going off.

Shuddupayourface?

Lieutenant Pigeon?

Any better offers?

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Wed Nov 20, 2019 9:10 pm

Deck of cards by Max Bygraves.

UnreliableSalopian · **Posted:** Wed Nov 20, 2019 10:11 pm

Ladies and Gentlemen... I present you with the following:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESViOhqRdlE

The Fat Man · **Joined:** Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:03 pm **Posts:** 2107

Anything by Queen. Novelty hits are supposed to be crap. Queen were being serious.

born toulouse · **Posted:** Wed Nov 20, 2019 10:27 pm

derwent · **Joined:** Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:59 pm **Posts:** 12367

Congratulations by Cliff Richard.

no6bus · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:55 pm **Posts:** 5095

The Fat Man wrote:

Anything by Queen. Novelty hits are supposed to be crap. Queen were being serious.

Ooooh contentious there Mr Fatman
I will concede Crazy little thing called love but to have the success Queen had you have to have something going for you.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

no6bus · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:55 pm **Posts:** 5095

Mr Blobby, the cheeky girls, Kermit the frog, LED Zeppelin, Bjork,

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

no6bus · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:55 pm **Posts:** 5095

derwent wrote:

Congratulations by Cliff Richard.

And I will raise you “wired for sound “

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Monkeybutt · **Joined:** Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:22 pm **Posts:** 2428

Tub thumping.

accrington fan · **Joined:** Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:22 pm **Posts:** 19738

[quote="no6bus"]
And I will raise you “wired for sound “

then i,ll trump you with mistletoe and whne. the complete puke fest.

Kenny Bottles · **Posted:** Thu Nov 21, 2019 12:34 pm

Surely Black Lace deserve a mention for pushing all those pineapples up them trees...?

OddsOnPhil · **Joined:** Mon Aug 15, 2011 10:27 am **Posts:** 674

The Reynolds Girls "I'd Rather Jack", anything by Tracy Ullman.

Sussex UK · **Joined:** Wed Dec 28, 2016 10:34 pm **Posts:** 3553

OddsOnPhil wrote:

anything by Tracy Ullman.

Not even "They don't know "??

"Making your mind up" Buck's Fizz is high on my shotgun list..

Stomper409 · **Posted:** Thu Nov 21, 2019 1:49 pm

"Lady In Red" and her bloody "darnsing"

Mr Irrelevant · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm **Posts:** 22669

Everything by the Beatles

no6bus · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:55 pm **Posts:** 5095

And I will raise you “wired for sound “

then i,ll trump you with mistletoe and whne. the complete puke fest.[/quote]

Millennium prayer, I win

Montpoolier · **Posted:** Thu Nov 21, 2019 5:35 pm

The worst hit record in history (you can all stop posting now) was Captain Beaky by Keith Michell.
Second worst was Doo-whakka-diddle-dum-day by Gilbert and Sullivan.

Mr Irrelevant · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm **Posts:** 22669

Gilbert O'Sullivan I think you mean Mr M.

I'll give you that but he's forgiven for having created possibly the most beautifully crafted song in history - Nothing Rhymed.

Sussex UK · **Joined:** Wed Dec 28, 2016 10:34 pm **Posts:** 3553

"Sussudio" .."In the air Tonight ".Phil Collins
"Shout.".Lulu .horrific
"Living on a Prayer" Bon Jovi..

Kenny Bottles · **Posted:** Fri Nov 22, 2019 1:08 am

Do awful songs like "Matchstalk Men and Matchstalk Cats and Dogs" by Brian and Michael, and "The Smurf Song" get double points for equally bad parodies also being hits for The Barron Knights...?

I should hope so mind...

Sussex UK · **Joined:** Wed Dec 28, 2016 10:34 pm **Posts:** 3553

"Well we sang shang-a-lang as we ran the gang"
"Doing do woop be dooby do ay "

RemotePoolie · **Joined:** Tue Feb 19, 2019 8:34 am **Posts:** 597

Anything from Steps, S Club 7 and the Cheeky Girls. All of which can be watched from the Darlington Arena opposed to actual football.

Warwick Hunt · **Posted:** Fri Nov 22, 2019 9:22 am

YMCA

Birdie song

Smurf song

accrington fan · **Joined:** Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:22 pm **Posts:** 19738

no6bus wrote:

And I will raise you “wired for sound “

then i,ll trump you with mistletoe and whne. the complete puke fest.

Millennium prayer, I win[/quote]
yes, i,ll stack now.

Montpoolier · **Posted:** Fri Nov 22, 2019 11:37 am

Mr Irrelevant wrote:

Nothing Rhymed.

3rd worst song. Riddled with meaningless clichés to try to sound intellectual.
Although to be fair he doesn't have a monopoly on that. Well, not on the cliché part.

thedno · **Posted:** Fri Nov 22, 2019 4:16 pm

Granddad we love you.. Clive Dunn.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.. The Beatles.

We Built This City.. Starship. And we all know how that goes don't we?

What have I done.... earworm alert :laugh:

Sussex UK · **Joined:** Wed Dec 28, 2016 10:34 pm **Posts:** 3553

Shakin Stevens and Showaddywaddy .ruined many a good party.

Pink jackets and white shoes wtf

Watching from afar · **Posted:** Fri Nov 22, 2019 6:41 pm

Most of the songs above are just novelty records. The really offensive ones are those taking themselves seriously. Currently that fat scottish lad is pretty awful. Couldnt tell you the name of the songs but. A few years back there was a song called If I was a boy, which was so bad it should have been banned. Every tune Cliff Richard recorded he should have prosecuted for. Most of ColdPlays songs are pretty bad.

Hartleblue · **Posted:** Fri Nov 22, 2019 7:00 pm

Mr Irrelevant wrote:

Everything by the Beatles

Really?

Hartleblue · **Posted:** Fri Nov 22, 2019 7:03 pm

That I would walk 10,000 miles or whatever it was..Utter shite!!!

Montpoolier · **Posted:** Fri Nov 22, 2019 7:53 pm

That's two people who have complained about acts taking themselves seriously. What's that supposed to mean? That it's wrong to make a serious attempt at creating music with a wee bit of quality? Maybe you could give us examples of non-novelty songs that do and don't take themselves seriously. In either case, if it was a hit they must have got something right mustn't they?

Pooliedor · **Posted:** Fri Nov 22, 2019 8:13 pm

Montpoolier wrote:

That's two people who have complained about acts taking themselves seriously. What's that supposed to mean? That it's wrong to make a serious attempt at creating music with a wee bit of quality? Maybe you could give us examples of non-novelty songs that do and don't take themselves seriously. In either case, if it was a hit they must have got something right mustn't they?

I believe these two people are talking about boring colorless crap such as 'Everything I Do, I Do it for You', you know, that kind of crap.

Barriewardrobe2 · **Posted:** Sat Nov 23, 2019 12:32 am

Bluestreak wrote:

Deck of cards by Max Bygraves.

Definitely...whoever bought this needs a good flogging (if they're still alive of course)

Montpoolier · **Posted:** Sat Nov 23, 2019 1:50 am

Pooliedor wrote:

I believe these two people are talking about boring colorless crap such as 'Everything I Do, I Do it for You', you know, that kind of crap.

Everything I Do was commissioned to Bryan Adams for the Robin Hood film. I'm not saying it isn't colourless crap, but given the motive for writing it I don't think it qualifies Adams as being over-serious.

The same goes for Whitney Houston's butchering of Dolly Parton's song. It was only catering to the tone of the film.
Ditto for Celine Dion with the Titanic horror song. Someone gave it to her to sing and unfortunately she can't do that without yelling her head off.

accrington fan · **Joined:** Wed Jan 20, 2016 3:22 pm **Posts:** 19738

Bluestreak wrote:

Deck of cards by Max Bygraves.

only when you are dealt a bad hand.

Hartleblue · **Posted:** Sat Nov 23, 2019 10:49 am

Titanic is class! Each to their own Eh!

The Fat Man · **Joined:** Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:03 pm **Posts:** 2107

Montpoolier wrote:

That's two people who have complained about acts taking themselves seriously. What's that supposed to mean? That it's wrong to make a serious attempt at creating music with a wee bit of quality? Maybe you could give us examples of non-novelty songs that do and don't take themselves seriously. In either case, if it was a hit they must have got something right mustn't they?

I said that. It's more a case of recognising that novelty records are just that; to call them terrible somewhat misses the point. There's nothing wrong with trying to create something quality, but when it results in something that I think is terrible (and, of course, it's a subjective judgment) then I think that's worse than a novelty record. As for an example of a band who write non-novelty songs that don't take themselves too seriously, I give you the KLF.

Montpoolier · **Posted:** Mon Nov 25, 2019 3:54 pm

I dunno. For me, taking oneself seriously is something certain karaoke singers are prone to do, but they are quite easy to avoid.
I think every act who has lasted more than a couple of songs has a duff 'un in their repertoire.

yloop · **Posted:** Mon Nov 25, 2019 4:00 pm

Watching from afar wrote:

Most of the songs above are just novelty records. The really offensive ones are those taking themselves seriously. Currently that fat scottish lad is pretty awful. Couldnt tell you the name of the songs but. A few years back there was a song called If I was a boy, which was so bad it should have been banned. Every tune Cliff Richard recorded he should have prosecuted for. Most of ColdPlays songs are pretty bad.

Lewis Capaldi? Probably the least serious singer out there at the minute. Knows fine well he's in a lucky position and genuinely can't believe it's all happening.

Monkeybutt · **Joined:** Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:22 pm **Posts:** 2428

Hartleblue wrote:

That I would walk 10,000 miles or whatever it was..Utter shite!!!

Uplifting tune belted out in the car on the way home from an away win in Exeter, priceless.

Watching from afar · **Posted:** Mon Nov 25, 2019 5:01 pm

yloop wrote:

Lewis Capaldi? Probably the least serious singer out there at the minute. Knows fine well he's in a lucky position and genuinely can't believe it's all happening.

Is that his name. He might not be serious but it seems people buying his songs are. Awful mind numbing stuff. Are there no rebels left in the world?

yloop · **Posted:** Mon Nov 25, 2019 5:07 pm

Watching from afar wrote:

Is that his name. He might not be serious but it seems people buying his songs are. Awful mind numbing stuff. Are there no rebels left in the world?

Just pop music innit? Been the same since the beginning of time.

Watching from afar · **Posted:** Mon Nov 25, 2019 5:08 pm

That is very true.

Worst hit record in history.

Gadgies online