I reckon if I spend the day in the garden with headphones on I'll avoid any coverage of Prince Charles' son who bears an uncanny likeness to his mother's boyfriend and her out of Suits who can't act. Hate gardening but sometimes its the safest option.

Perhaps we all should be gardening tomorrow.

On the day of the Royal Wedding, Meghan was getting dressed, surrounded by all her family, and she suddenly realized she had forgotten to get any shoes. Then her sister remembered that she had a pair of white shoes from her wedding so she lent them to Meghan for the day. Unfortunately, they were a bit too small and by the time the festivities were over Meghan`s feet were in agony. When she and Harry withdrew to their room the only thing she could think of was getting her shoes off. The rest of the Royal Family crowded round the door to the bedroom and they heard roughly what they expected, grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually they heard Harry say ''God, that was tight.''

''There,'' whispered the Queen. ''I told you she was a virgin.''

Then, to their surprise, they heard Harry say. ''Right. Now for the other one.'' Followed by more grunting and straining and at last Harry said ''My God. That was even tighter.''

''That's my boy,'' said the Duke. ''Once a sailor, always a sailor.''

Except he was in the Army Air Corps.

Top tip.

When you lift stuff straight off Google (like both of your hilarious copy and paste tastic ‘one liners’ threads) at least get rid of the Z’s where S’s should be to at least offer some suggestion that you typed it yourself even for a fairly weak joke about anal Sex.

Bluez and Royalz too.