Scratching them in public is not a option.

What are the Bunkerites' favourite pro-tips for overcoming this inconvenient state of affairs?

Sounds like some calamine lotion is required.

Sounds like a PiN thread.

Were they on show to be bitten, were they slathered with chum and why would you call your dog `Mozzie`

Easy. Live somewhere with fewer mozzies.

It's never happened to me thankfully.

All sorts of bity flying fuckers find most of me delicious, but I think my scrotum exudes it's own deet.

Apparently your blood group has a lot to do with how attractive you are to them, perhaps my sac has it's own circulatory system?

OR+?

Any news on the mozzies condition....?

These things don't last long. It'd gone by the time the absence of pro-tips came along.
What's worrying is it's not even proper mozzie season yet.

I always wondered how the Scots managed to fend them off, running around in that heather with kilts on. Probably just threatened to 'brow' the midges'.

You're lucky. Mossies used not to bother me but the older I get the more they go for me. Every bite turns into a mini boil and lasts about a week.

The worst is when you're not expecting them. A few year back had a weekend in Antwerp in July - hot night, hotel corner room, all windows open - I was eaten half alive before I even realised they were in the room.

In Barcelona now they have 'tiger mosquitoes' that have made their way slowly north that give a really nasty bite. When they first arrived a few years ago the tourist board embargoed any mention of them.

I thought this was about a new edition of Monkey Business out and you canny talk proper.