Ex Girlfriends!

Monkeybutt · **Joined:** Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:22 pm **Posts:** 2428

I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'magic`. Wow!", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!" She just giggled and said she was sure I'd rise to the challenge!!!

"Yeah" I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly!

She teased me saying that tubby bald men were cute!
"Anyway, I've put on a few pounds myself!" she giggled...................

So I told her to f*ck off.

yloop · **Posted:** Sat Apr 07, 2018 6:53 pm

Stopped reading at gorgeous.

pooliecrab · **Joined:** Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:31 pm **Posts:** 6028

yloop wrote:

Stopped reading at gorgeous.

Did you not see who the poster was before opening?

yloop · **Posted:** Sat Apr 07, 2018 7:31 pm

Lapse of judgement

PJPoolie · **Joined:** Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:28 pm **Posts:** 15342

I actually thought that was some of his better material.

But still about as funny as genocide.

pooliecrab · **Joined:** Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:31 pm **Posts:** 6028

Ah it was a joke?

Hartleblue · **Posted:** Sun Apr 08, 2018 1:22 pm

I think its funny.!

The Bishop · **Posted:** Sun Apr 08, 2018 4:22 pm

I can't believe yous believed Mr Butt ever had a girlfriend, never mind an ex an all!!!!!!

Who's the "joke" on now????? :laugh:

Dalton'sHaircut · **Joined:** Sun Oct 05, 2014 9:26 pm **Posts:** 1013

The Bishop wrote:

I can't believe yous believed Mr Butt ever had a girlfriend, never mind an ex an all!!!!!!

Who's the "joke" on now????? :laugh:

Even Quasimodo had Esmerelda Mr Bishop

Monkeybutt · **Joined:** Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:22 pm **Posts:** 2428

The Bishop wrote:

I can't believe yous believed Mr Butt ever had a girlfriend, never mind an ex an all!!!!!!

Who's the "joke" on now????? :laugh:

I have more ex's than you have had takeaways.

Really hard to keep em when you have a hair trigger

Mumtaz's rucksack · **Joined:** Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:38 pm **Posts:** 1643

Monkeybutt wrote:

The Bishop wrote:

I can't believe yous believed Mr Butt ever had a girlfriend, never mind an ex an all!!!!!!

Who's the "joke" on now????? :laugh:

I have more ex's than you have had takeaways.

Really hard to keep em when you have a small penis

Sussex UK · **Joined:** Wed Dec 28, 2016 10:34 pm **Posts:** 3573

Monkeybutt ..Stud Muffin or MasterBaker??

pooliecrab · **Joined:** Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:31 pm **Posts:** 6028

Muffin bater?

tREE_wiTH_hAMStER · **Joined:** Sat May 19, 2007 11:00 am **Posts:** 20758

Is she the one you were bucking on a sofa while her Alsatian licked your butt hole?

Compo · **Posted:** Mon Apr 09, 2018 10:48 am

Isn’t monkey Butt the milk man

born toulouse · **Posted:** Mon Apr 09, 2018 11:06 am

Do you mean warm milk-guzzling, tenner-pinching, CB groomer?

poolieinnottingham · **Posted:** Mon Apr 09, 2018 12:27 pm

I've actually got an image in my head now as Monkeybutt as Fru T. Bunn out of Viz.

For anyone unfamiliar with this character, it is basically a baker who makes life-size gingerbread sex dolls.

Malcolm Dawes Knew My Father · **Joined:** Wed May 11, 2011 4:25 pm **Posts:** 4198

I'm familiar with the expression 'he'd buck a hole in a fur coat' but a man who'd buck a hole in a gingerbread sex doll can only be an ex-chef.

Sorry Mr. Butt, you're guilty as charged by m'learned friend Mr. PiN.

Monkeybutt · **Joined:** Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:22 pm **Posts:** 2428

tREE_wiTH_hAMStER wrote:

Is she the one you were bucking on a sofa while her Alsatian licked your butt hole?

Different woman, it may not have been big but it was busy :animals-dogrun:

Monkeybutt · **Joined:** Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:22 pm **Posts:** 2428

poolieinnottingham wrote:

I've actually got an image in my head now as Monkeybutt as Fru T. Bunn out of Viz.

For anyone unfamiliar with this character, it is basically a baker who makes life-size gingerbread sex dolls.

Not so far off there pin.

Sussex UK · **Joined:** Wed Dec 28, 2016 10:34 pm **Posts:** 3573

What a disappointing thread..And it's took me days to remember all their names.

Ex Girlfriends!

Gadgies online