I am currently witnessing, listening to.

A bloke has just decided to have a skpe video call and is talking very loudly. The wanker.

Mobile phobe calls are bad e ough but this is just beyond ignorant.

He seems completely oblivious to my stares suggesting he is a cockend and should be shot.

Have they not covered that mirror yet?

A) You should have gone First Class.
or
B) Sat in the quiet coach.
C) Not gone to Cardiff.

Hope this Helps.

He's gone to buy bread.

Dibbs. Invest in a pair of noise cancelling headphones; you can block out all the extreme levels of twattery you get on the train. Works for me.

You're missing the point, he actually likes being annoyed, noise enhancing headphones would be more appealing.

On reflection, getting irritated by other people's behaviour is quite enjoyable. A scowl and touch of self indignation keeps your mind and body active.
My new favourite is waiting at traffic lights or in the petrol queue looking at the other cars around me and thinking " look at that scruffy chav in his brand new top of the range 4x4 German bragwagon, where did he get his money from" then I run various scenarios through my head, " Look at the mini woman driving a people carrier, she can't even see over the f**king steering wheel, she's an accident waiting to happen. Cow!" Or is it just me....?

Colonel, just tell him he's a twwat. You'll probably get a round of applause off the other passengers.

Then kick the Coloels head in

If ever I needed a reason for NOT having a mobile, it was to spend three hours daily on the LU/LO travelling to and from work and being subjected to a vast amount of shite. Why is there the feeling that you have to shout and even more intriguingly (serious point), why is there a need to pace about while speaking??? I once watched a bloke on the platform on his 'dog' and the more agitated he became, the more frantic his pacing got until at one point, no joke, he just managed to stop himself falling onto the tracks as, presumably, his subconscious kicked in. The standard conversation goes along the lines of, "Hello. I'm just arriving at 'x' and I'll be home in five minutes. I'll have a dozen baked beans on half a slice of toast. Byeee". For the sake of five fucking minutes!

On another occasion while waiting for the train home to leave Euston, an 'airline' woman was having an extremely loud conversation for the ten minutes before the train departed. A chap politely asked her to 'pipe down' but she carried on for a further ten minutes or so into the journey before she indignantly said to him, "You could at least have let me finish my conversation". Incidentally, I do appreciate that there is a need for work-related calls.

I know people who virtually live their lives through them and I genuinely believe that they are as addictive, if not more so, than cigarettes and the subject is worthy of a study in itself.

Regarding 'texting' or, more specifically, 'predictive text', being green and cabbage-looking, I was under the illusion that this was a device that had been developed to assist the user to save time, make things easier, quicker and so on. Listening to the other half swearing because she has to change every other word, I realize the error of my ways. Just a couple of examples; her "post" becomes "piste", "Moby Dick" turns into "Mobile Dick" and in relation to a wedding where a joking comment about the cost suggested that, "You'll have to eat beans when you are here", the last part incredibly changed to, "when you are heterosexual". What kind of bollocks system is that? Do I detect a theme developing here?

Having already forked out to travel on the train systems and at today's prices, I couldn't possibly afford a set, Phil!

I'm not sure about the wisdom of blanking out your surroundings when travelling on the Underground as you constantly need your wits about you for the whole journey. Apart from the regular trampling on your feet, the raking of cases/computer trolleys etc. up your shins (I've often wished I had kept my old shin pads), you also contact an oddity or two. I recall an eccentric woman getting on a packed District line train at Victoria one morning on my way to work and she stood next to me. As the train rumbled it's way through the tunnel, I realized that she had a deadly looking ten inch pin sticking through the back of her hat and every time the train rocked, it whistled past my face. Blackfriars station couldn't come quick enough, I can assure you.

Rudolph

I like you.

I use the trains more than anything else. I think I've taken/made a call less than five times; all work related that I had to sort out there and then. The rest of the time I keep it on silent. I have been known to ask people to respect other passengers; one bloke, who was having a really inane conversation, threatened to 'kick my head in'. He wasn't very impressed when I laughed at him!

Many apologies, mate. Had I realized it was you, I wouldn't have made that comment!

Must admit I always go wandering when I make a phone call. Not sure why but I find it impossible to stay sat down and will just walk about the house till the call is over unaware of what im doing.

Generally finish the phone call and find im in the Bathroom or Pantry.

You could be shitting in either.

Tell you what I hate more; anyone who continues a conversation when being served in a shop. It's completely dehumanising and incredibly rude. How can anyone just ignore the real person standing in front of them. It's a shit job to start with. I've been known to comment loudly to the shop assistant on a few occasions.

Grumps r us!

This. I was being served before and and the shop assistant dropped my change on the floor as she didn't look at me and was too busy talking to her colleague.

mobile phone conversations, pop music, kids running around and paying a fortune for the priveledge. keep the bloody trains for me.

I have rebelled and don't use the train or have a mobile phone. However there are numerous bus wankers who play music loud/talk loud etc on the bus. I would walk, but I'm lazy and do bring shopping home.

You and me both, TFM. The disrespect shown as they arrogantly make their way up to the counter in shops, banks etc. with their mobiles clamped at a forty five degree angle between ear and shoulder pisses me off big time (How long before GP's are reporting increased cases of 'mobile neck/shoulder syndrome?). I've often thought that if I was the 'server', I would wait for the buggers to give me their attention but I doubt that I would be in the job for very long. Interestingly, while waiting to get a train ticket at King's + for a Pools game last season, the woman in front of me received just this treatment with the chap saying to her, "Are you ready to speak to me now?". Yeeees!

Accompanying the other half up to Paddington yesterday, we were met by the sight of some grinner laying full length across the floor of the Overground carriage with his head propped up while looking at his mobile even though there were umpteen empty seats available. Getting on the train at Paddington on the return journey, among the passengers leaving the train were two menacing police with firearms at the ready. They could have been there in connection with the Test at The Oval but it was a sobering thought nevertheless.

And whilst boarding a bus.
Put the fucking phone down until you have got your ticket .


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