Last day of season. Tense at Chelsea as they are neck and neck with Spurs for Prem shit title. Sunderland win 1-0 and Jermain gets the goal as Spurs pip Chelsea for title. Meanwhile (different) date but you know what I mean. Pools need a point to stay up after Newport score 88th would be winner v Notts County. Donny are leading 1-0 and lording it when suddenly Amond feels strange as if his feet are not his own (anyone remember Billy's Boots belonging to old footy star Deadshot Keene?) He weaves his way through the Donny defence and scores up at the Rink End to make it 1-1. Someone hears that Plymouth have scored. The ref blows his whistle and its over. Pools stay up, Donny are runners up, Rink End are sad, never mind and all is right with this part of the world. Think I'll check the odds on that happening tomorrow. What's the use in worrying?

Apologies folks. My twin brother wrote that. They let him out occasionally.