We've all overheard some in our time, yesterday was a classic I heard. Unfortunately missed the end as I was crying with laughter. It may be one of those stories where you have to know the character, but I'm sure we've all met someone like Trigger! Here goes.....

A: Are you coming to Benidorm with us next year?
B: No you spend all day in English Pubs, Drinking English Beer, then eat English food, you might aswell go to Blackpool.
A: Whats wrong with that?
B: When in Spain you should try the Spanish Beer/Wine, Food and Culture.
A: Why? When they come over here they only eat Spanish Food.
B: Where do they get Spanish Food around here?
A: The Chinkys!

Anymore overheard Gems?

I cant think of anything more guano that going to somewhere like Benidorm for a holiday.

Never been but I do fancy a daft weekend there at some point.

Shit


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Damnit

I heard someone shout in the town end toilets "its amazing what you can do with a sponge!"

Playing Snooker once in Riley's "She was pure filth she piped me off
after I'd been up her arse"

I missed the red.

Apparently he didn't miss the pink or the brown.

I was having a bite to eat and a pint in a Portuguese restaurant in Yarmouth a couple of years ago. Sat at the next table was this lass, about 30ish her hair piled up in a beehive, she was sitting with her mam & dad who were around 65ish. Anyway she was on about her ex who was banned from going near her by the courts and about getting the Pork sword, to them, as she was rolling a fag she says to them "I've got more fu...cking etiquette in my little finger than you f...ckers will ever have" typical for that area not quite TOWIE but near as dammit. Nearly choked on my chicken piri piri

Would you have?

Or even did you?

This wasn't in a pub, but on the bus home after a night out, so should count.

On the fairly busy top deck I sat behind a very well-oiled couple in their late 40s, who didn't notice I was there. He began telling her what he was going to do to her, when they got in. Started off quiet but got louder the more he got into it.

Went into a lot of detail about going down on her, and how nice it would be since she shaved it. Then he he got a bit stroppy, and started to go on about how she hadn't given him a blow job for some time. She started to protest, mentioning the fact that she hadn't been well.

He kept on at he though, and by now every passenger on the bus was listening. In the end the conversation came to an end with him pointing out that she still could have orally pleasured him despite her condition. She killed it dead by shouting out 'how did you expect me to give to give you a blow job with an abcess? I was in agony!'

Thankfully I wasn't the only passenger who burst out laughing at this point.