This is (not) verbatim but an abridged version of a phone conversation I had from "Michael" today.

Him: Hello remember that loan you took out and paid off within the last 5 years. You are entitled too etc....
Me: Yes, great send me the check.
Him: We will have to go through etc.......
Me: No I agree, you agree and they have said they owe it, so when will I get the check? How much am I getting and how are you sending it, recorded mail or 1st class? When will I get this check?
Him: You are an idiot, a flipping (word changed) idiot... repeated for half a minute.
Me: That doesn't sound professional.
Him: Repeat expletives for a minute or so......
Me: (Trying not to laugh)Can you put me on to a Supervisor/Manager to complain about your unprofessional standards....oh and to ask when I'll get the check?
Him: You really are a... repeat expletives for a further 30 secs or so. (Also imagine the noise of feet stomping on the floor at this point).
Me: Do you own a dictionary? Do you know the definition of a flipping idiot?(Still trying not to laugh)
Him: You are ...... etc (seemed to be getting really vexed by now)
Me: You rang me to give me abuse, so if I'm the idiot and we've been talking for over half an hour , who is the Fluffing idiot?
Him: (seemingly getting more irate) you you (repeat as before)
Me: Well you called me it's its your phone bill we're using!
.................Beep............
Me: How rude hanging up when you're trying to get business.

Was the poor bloke trying to resign, having a nervous breakdown? Should I feel guilty?
I love daytime crank calls me!!!!!!

So how much are you due and are you spending it all on trust memberships?

Obviously I would have told "Michael" to make the check payable to the Trust!

Ps I was enjoying the call (even with the expletives). I get lonely!

They don't stay on the phone very long if they've woken me from a beer- fuelled nap, that's for sure..