Imagine that you hate parties, and at your work it is announced that there is going to be a big bash and you have to go.

The bigwigs and bosses are all going to be there, and everyone is excited. Its all they can think about, there are leaflets, posters, even fundraising and volunteers to do the decorations.

It REALLY gets on your tits, because you hate parties. Everywhere you go people are fucking talking about it though, what they are going to wear, what the food will be like, how excited they are, who is going to get off with who afterwards, who is going to photocopy their arse etc. Everyone has got an opinion on how it should be and what it's going to be like - they want to tell you about their opinions. In detail. You hate these people. Shut up and get on with your job you workshy bastards!

You put up with all this shit for weeks and weeks, and finally its party night! It's shit but you drink loads and wake up the next morning with a raging hangover but that little happy thought 'No more fucking parties for a while! YES! Some peace at last".

Then you go to work - and every BASTARD is talking about the party, what happened, why so-and-so got sacked (Ed looked funny / Nick slept with the wrong boss / Nige was in the pub drinking pints all the time), that the posters were misleading, that some people went to the wrong place and there should be a better system in the future, that too much was spent on it, who was the best dressed. ARRGHGHGHGGH!

Now, can you all stop posting about the fucking election now - it's over with. Make some shit up about Pools, transfers or anything else, but I have listened to this shit for months and months and now there are 'political debates' or as I term it, political point scoring bullshittyness, all over this site. Now, I like point scoring bullshittyness - love it, but if you want to debate politics why don't you:

A) If you are a Tory bastard go to the Guardian website and annoy the people there who are sad at the state of the world.
B) If you are a Labour bastard go to the Daily Mail website and annoy the people who are delighted at the state of the world.
C) If you are a Green bastard go and calm yourself by talking to the trees.
D) If you are an SNP bastard piss off to Scotland.
E) If you are a UKIP bastard go and get a job with border patrol, it will help.

Oh. Yes, I feel much better now. A weight has been lifted. Ta.

Calm down dearie

We're just ranting


and if I recall - you text me on Friday morning about the 'Party' the night before.

Rants are ok.

But political DEBATES - on the pooliebunker!? What is the world coming to?

I blame the Tories.

The retained list has been out much quicker under the coalition, without the lib dems reining these bastard Tories in we've been kept waiting over a whole week.

Well you've pissed all over that parade.

I have question though.

What do you think of health tourism?

Nevermind health tourism, have you seen the front page of tomorrow's The Times?

Political debates have been the mainstay of this site for the past decade.

so who did you end up in bed with at the party? (You are Nick I take it?)

Of course. And who the fuck wants to talk about Pools?

We is intellectual.

I want to talk about pools. Do Bunkerites prefer their bar by the side of the pool or on an island in the middle?

This gets my vote for the best pool.