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 Post subject: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 11:25 am 
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I was devastated to find out that my sister in law had arranged the christening of her kid on a bloody Saturday. Worse still it is the day of the York away game.

So I got yesterday offered an early date for a very small operation (vasectomy) - the Friday before the game. Now obviously I couldn't possibly have to travel to Bedfordshire the next day for a Christening when I need a couple of days 'rest'.

So with no little delight I informed my Mrs she would have to take the kids and go herself - and plotted today to get a ticket. Only to find that they are sold out.

Look fellow Poolies I have literally put my cock on the block to get to this game. If anyone hears or knows of a ticket going spare I am desperate to get one - please contact me. Money and collection within a couple of hours.

Help save the 'cock on the block' one. Don't let my sacrifice go in vein(sic).


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 11:37 am 
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phil wrote:
This has all the makings of an excellent Twitter campaign.


Im pretty sure his misses or the family involved in the Christening would then find out!

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I'd recommend a more stealthy plan than googling 'afternoon tea dog'.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 11:56 am 
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If this doesn't turn into at least a three page pun fest then The Bunker really has gone down the pan

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Apols


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 12:37 pm 
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Tax Paying Poolie wrote:
If this doesn't turn into at least a three page pun fest then The Bunker really has gone down the pan

Willy get the ticket or won't he?

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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 12:50 pm 
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Your best bet is to get a ticket in the home end, just don't celebrate when we score or the York fans may give you a bit of a bollocking.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 12:54 pm 
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You'll get a ticket easy, for a snip of the price.

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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:00 pm 
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Absolute fuckin sacrifice. the club should let you travel on the squad coach and get in for free. A true poolie.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:16 pm 
I've tweeted Pools. Get on the campaign everyone.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:18 pm 
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#SavePDE


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:24 pm 
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Come on lads. Someone must know someone who has cried off.

It would make a 'vas(t) deferens' to my mood to know that I had a ticket.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:25 pm 
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Just go in the home end!


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:26 pm 
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yloop wrote:
I've tweeted Pools. Get on the campaign everyone.


Im pretty sure he wants to keep it quiet from his misses and her family :laugh:

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I'd recommend a more stealthy plan than googling 'afternoon tea dog'.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:44 pm 
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........


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:45 pm 
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I just hope on the day Pools aren't firing blanks.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:45 pm 
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I live away doing missionary work. My Mrs family live in Darlo and Bedfordshire and will never see this.

I don't care who sees this as long as I find a ticket. Couldn't go in the home end. Just couldn't. Keeping my mouth shut is a real issue for me. Keeping my mouth shut -surrounded by York fans- with sore ,swollen testicles and no ability to run doesn't work for me.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:51 pm 
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Knackerless and ticketless? Doesn't bear thinking about.

Assuming you do get a ticket, bear in mind your post-operative advice.

"Apply an ice pack or package of frozen peas (or other such package) to the scrotum for the first 24 hours after the procedure. Wrap the ice pack in a towel. Do not place ice directly on the skin.
Avoid walking or standing as much as possible for a couple of days."

And try not to jump up and down when Pools score - it'll hurt like hell and you'll drop your frozen peas.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:54 pm 
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'Son, you'll be a Bachelor's Boy...' bbolt

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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:59 pm 
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pde147 wrote:
I live away doing missionary work


I can't work out if this is a pun or not

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Apols


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 2:27 pm 
I've tweeted football AM and Phil Neville.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 2:33 pm 
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Get it on talk sport

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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 2:36 pm 
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Paddy your dedication to the Poolie cause is highly commendable, and I'm sure you'll be rewarded with a ticket from somewhere.

Speaking as someone who has had the snip, keep yourself right. Don't walk too far, sit or lay down as much as possible, and don't carry anything heavy. Give it a few days before you shake any hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree too.

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If there's any more chew, the bar will be closed!


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 2:39 pm 
Tweeted TalkSport...


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 2:40 pm 
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Wommers wrote:
Just go in the home end!


I've had the snip. He won't be going in the home or away end for a while yet. :?


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 2:57 pm 
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Try Paddy Power on Twitter too - they usually get involved in stuff like this


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 3:05 pm 
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Are you very heavy Mr PDE? You could maybe do like Aragorn did with Gimli in LOTR and get someone to chuck you over the fence.
Is there no one here who could spare'm a toss o'er?

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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 3:16 pm 
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Jesus, I've had the snip and the thought of getting thrown over a fence by a load of hobbits or whatever those fookers you mention are chills me to the bone. I walked my youngest to school two days later and had balls like giant plums by mid-morning.

best option is to see if you can get some of the fancy dress elite to dress up as servants and carry you into the ground in a sedan chair while you rest your tender gonads on a velvet cushion.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 3:16 pm 
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Do you know anyone with a wheelchair? You could borrow it and get someone to take you in the disabled enclosure.

If they query how disabled you are just flash them your knackers, they'll understand.

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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 3:49 pm 
I've tweeted PP as well now.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 3:50 pm 
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unohoo wrote:
Wommers wrote:
Just go in the home end!


I've had the snip. He won't be going in the home or away end for a while yet. :?


clappp

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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 4:52 pm 
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He definitely won't be jumping up if we score..

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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 11:50 pm 
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Whats the hashtag and tweet we're spreading?


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 11:59 pm 
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But is there any proof this isn't just an elaborate ruse to get hold of a ticket?
I reckon the entire procedure should be filmed as proof .

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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2015 12:05 am 
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Its nuts...... Ronnie will have the team pumping high balls into the box all game... bbolt

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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2015 12:13 am 
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Why not go disguised as a ball boy....but roll the ball back.... :wink:

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It’s what he does….. he’s a terrier.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2015 5:01 am 
poolieinnottingham wrote:
Don't walk too far, sit or lay down as much as possible, and don't carry anything heavy. Give it a few days before you shake any hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree too.


Are you Marlon Hardwood????


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2015 6:59 am 
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poolieinnottingham wrote:
Give it a few days before you shake any hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree too.
Somehow that's one thing he won't be doing at the York match...... at least I hope not :shock:

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It’s what he does….. he’s a terrier.


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 Post subject: Re: York ticket - the ultimate sacrifice
PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2015 9:30 am 
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Songs sorted already.

They no longer work
They no longer wooooorrk
Paddys Bollocks, they no longer work.

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