How do you cope with London Bogey Syndrome? Every time I come down here my nose turns into a bogey factory. And they're usually black. Does your body adapt like those moths that illustrate Darwinism?

no they just cut their noses off instead

To spite their faces?

how do they smell.......

terrible

bdum tschhhhhhhhh

I'm afraid that your body doesn't adapt and this is a permanent feature of London life. Funnily enough, I tend to notice the absence of these offending articles when I spend a bit of time away from London.

But it's not necessarily a big problem - my advice would be to hoick out the unwelcome guests and apply to the nearest cockney.

Thanks for the advice, although I didn't think there were any cockneys now, apart from the ones on Eastenders.

They're all cockneys to me if they're from London, I don't apply the Bow Bells test. Best thing about doing that is that they hate it, so some decent sport to be had.

I spent a week there in a particularly hot summer around 20 years ago, and my eyes were streaming as if it was hay fever symptoms. I normally don't suffer from anything like that, but the air just built up loads of pollutants, and the air quality was really bad

mind you that's one benefit of lower emissions from cars, that doesn't seem to happen now when I go there

I've just spent the last five weeks working down there in the Islington area and my eyes were streaming as well every time I went in the pubs, £ 5.95 for a fucking half in one of them and over £26 for a round of five drinks in another! Greedy twats!!!

and you paid it?

Barmy

That's were I was yesterday. I stuck to The Angel, which is now a Spoons, only £1.99 a pint.

It's called "getting your round in" Dibbs. U should try it some time.

I was in a place called The Arc, just round the corner from there.