There was a young girl from Devizes,
who had breasts of two different sizes.
One was so small it was no use at all,
but the other won several prizes.

And so on....

We need to write our own, for example:

A nauseating bloke known as dibble,
wrote daft shite and other dumb scribble.
Since he was a brat, he was always a twat.
with an insatiable desire to nibble.

Lame I know but you get the idea. Feel free to insult each other!

Are you giving us freedom of speech to insult others as long as its in the form of a limerick?

There once was a guy called Monkeybutt,
His cock he couldnt see for his gut,
He perved all day long,
wishing he could use his schlong
But had to make do with his mutt.

There was a guy called doubledecker,
He was a right miserable fecker,
He moaned non stop on the Milhouse
Did nothing at all but grouse
And is now more at home in the Mecca.

its hard trying to think of things to rhyme with birthmark

their once was a man named joe
one day he woke up and said no
so he got a meeting with russ
then turned into a puss
so he decided to just say fuck all

ps no offence like joe mac

Sussex admired his clothes,
so he thought he'd go out for a pose.
His clothes smelt of poo,
are you sure they're new...?
Well they are to me I suppose.

I like your rhyming of "no" with "all"

Their once was a man named spender
He was an absolute bender
he never goes to pools
but he thinks he knows all the rules
give it a rest you absolute bender

im gunna be banned by the end of today

Birthmark loved to come on and moan
Like acoustic wallpaper in your home,
He went on and on,
Like old Ariston,
And when he came on we'd all groan.

I once was a guy called grave,
he often did misbehave,
I cant remember which log in iv used,
so i dont know if il get abused
but sussex is a right twat.

Snowy was a bit of a knob
Whitter on he did just like Bob,
Horny, they both went on a double date
women were ugly so left them-it was fate,
And now they are both on the job.

There once was a poster called Tree,
Who abused everybody but me,
Just in fun he said,
But soon ended up dead,
With his legs chopped off under the knee.

There once was me old mucker called Tucker
Who wasn't so much of a looker
20 quid was his aim
selling tickets for the game
So he could afford to fuck a fat hooker.

A very good friend of mine wrote
Without the pretence of a poet
"Rhyming isn't enough
It's the rhythm that's tough.
But hey let's dumb things down to give everyone a chance."

We have our winner

Tree had this sad delusion,
he thought his posts were amusing,
He was kidding himself,
He's the boards toxic elf,
Like his sex life, it's just an illusion.

There was a lad called tax paying poolie
He always tried to act cooley
in truth he was a mess,
the ugly tree his fall did bless
and his face looks like a shrivelled goolie

No offence like.

Ha ha None taken!

toxic elf

There is a young Poolie from Kent
His absence many lament
Once so prolific
His crack was terrific
His Bunker days sadly look spent

I thought you'd like that

There is a pools player called Mellish
Who still plays at the club coz he's ellish
Don't dare say that he's gone
Coz that would be wrong
He's my fave and I say that with relish.

The Winner...

There was a forum legend called Dibble
Thousands flocked to read his scribble.
But he became Mr Creosote
Who was Nobody's Hero
And turned the whole board, quite divisible.

there once was a guy called birthmark
he wasn't the world's brightest spark
he'd argue the toss
but usually lost
and looked like he dressed in the dark

thanks, i'm here all week

There's a bloke who reviews for the mail
Who peddled tickets and refused to fail
But when time for his fees
He used 50p's
And now the poor bastards in jail.

There was a young poolie named pj
Pulled his dick out and begged for a bj
But his cock was too bent
So he put his arse up for rent
And spun discs on his nob like a Dj

There was a fat bastard named dibble
Against homo's he always would quibble
But beneath all that guff
Was an aversion to muff
It was gayboys that made his cock dribble

You may be a miserable bastard but you have a way with words!

But I m not fat.

So its wrong, and shit.

Liking your work

he seems to talk a bout cocks a lot. And you appear to enjoy it too.

I do enjoy it, that is why I come on here so often, bastad surrounded by them

There be a poster named tree
Who was breathing unfortunately
He thought he would try swinging
cos his missus was minging
but nobody picked out his key.

There was a dullard called snowy
who`s favourite programme was towie
I think he favoured the lads
cos he wanted their nads
and pictures of girls are a no e

Monkeybutt makes a big play
Of his fear of all thngs gay,
Such is his fear,
he's a supressed queer,
yet so camp in real life, that's his way.

Monkeybutts mrs insists he`s not gay
with her body every night he does play
nothing will ever enter my hoop
and I will never join your group
a hetro I`ll be till my dying day.

Bravo

There was a man called borntolouse,
His cock did really amuse
It had a big bend,
Impossible to mend
And was also the size of a fuse

A fatty named adg
Said oi stop making fun out of me
I can't help that I'm queer
Love a cock in the rear
And have to sit down when I pee

these are getting better and better

His name is offshore poolie
he only has one goolie
he leans to one side
when he walks with a stride
teach him to mess with our Julie.

Although Ripper can be a whinger
and picks his arse with his finger
with the winnets all picked
and the clingers all flicked
the rumour is he`s a ginger!

An ode to PJPoolie

You always think that you're right
You are blind to the fact you talk shite
you pick on this and that
you pedantic old twat
when your done will you turn out the light!

There was a man named Mr I
whose sexual taste was decidedly bi
He liked girls with large cocks
and boys dressed in frocks
Was just as pleased with a girl or a guy!