Just had my tea with the boy and mid fork of ham & egg, he said " Dad, you know God made all the world and his son Jesus made us out of monkeys, well, the sun is a big fireball and if we went up in a rocket driven by an astronaut and he wears a helmet that looks like a goldfish bowl and he takes it off when they get into space and they can see the whole world and the big bang"

By the time he is 5, I will have to use google to have a feckin conversation with him

'No, son, Jesus made us look like monkeys and caused much of the unhappiness that's happening in the world today. Now, eat your tea, I spent ages cooking that and Jesus never ate ham.'

Mine are 8 & 10 and they help me with my homework.......and spelling!

Don't bother, honestly. Somebody has been filling his head with shite.
Big fireball comes close to being accurate but that name is already taken on the board.