Well, not really, but it's an excuse to post this amusing piece......

Threat Levels

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats that have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The British have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of London in 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the British and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased its alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". Two higher levels remain: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".