when they didn't expect it?

The other half went with her mother to a funeral in Billingham this morning. It was for a gentleman called Tommy Tasker. While having a drink afterwards, in the Catholic Club, they had a chat with Chris Bonington, for anyone who doesn't know, probably the best known mountain climber of the modern era. Tommy's oldest son Joe Tasker was killed climbing Everest, with a expedition led by Bonington, in 1982, and he has stayed in touch since.

I was in Throston Bookies the other day and met.............

I once sat next to Mark Knopfler at Abbey Road studios while he recorded Brothers in Arms. Does that count ?

Norman Wisdom in a airport in Albania and i was stood waiting to board a plane talking to Terry Butcher

I've had a chat with Viv Richards, the foremer West Indies cricketer.

Great live gig on sky anytime by him, playing a mixture of old and new stuff, watched it earlier and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Doesn't count, you arrange to meet your famous acquaintances.

Once spent an afternoon drinking in a bar in Soho with David Soul when he was appearing in the west end as Jerry Springer

Elton John at Pools in 1977

Elton John at Pools in 1977

Massssive...

I met few while living in Liverpool, Emile Heskey in a hair dressers (nice bloke and was having a bit of crack about me supporting Pools), Jennifer Elison (not fit at all in real life and has a mouth like a foghorn) Abby of the Zutons (very fit).

I have also met David Bellemy and mike gatting at Stanstead airport (not at the same time), Gatting was getting his bag searched by the customs fellas.

I also met Darren Bent about a month ago in the lounge in St Ives, he was a bit of a cock as was stood in the only place in the bar were everyone could see him. My mate who used to play footy with him at school went up to talk to him and just ask how he was doing, Bent said about two words to him and blanked him. I thought my mate was lying saying that he knew him well at school but he said "no mate he used to come round my house all the time for tea etc, cant believe he didnt talk to me" Although the fit blonde bird on his arm might have had his attention more than my mate.

A few others, Lorraine Chase, Micheal Robbins from on the buses he was Olives husband. Lord Soper. Noel Edmonds who did his breakfast show from newcastle airport one time. It looks like I am better at stalking than Smythe but these were visitors to the various schools I was teaching at.

I also met the lass from the Zutons, in WH smiths in Blackpool, she was very nice.

I met Bill Bailey in a hotel in Edinburgh and shared a couple of drinks with him. He was a funny bloke and had plenty of time for anyone who came over. He was probably just bored as he was staying there on his own.

The three that stand out for me are Sir Bobby Robson, Jack Nicklaus and Denis Law...........all perfect gentlemen and each made me feel that they were pleased to talk to me.
Once when I was at Donny racecourse I met Sir Alex Ferguson, who was there to witness his horse Rock of Gibralter winning, and he spent a good five minutes chatting.
The actress Jean Ferguson, who plays Marina in Last Of The Summer Wine uses the same local as me.
I was once on the stage with The Shadows...........and that was a bloody long time ago!!!!!!!

The one guy I met who came across as an utter tool is Bruce Forsyth.

Met Gordon Banks in a theme park in Orlando and Simon Cowell in Vegas.

well I find that everyone is over the moon to meet me... and who can blame them?

Met Jack Charlton on the bridge over the river at Haydon Bridge. He was out fishing and the bloke from the Spa shop was telling him the best spots. He was also after advice for a pint at lunchtime. I told the kids in my son's class that the old bloke in the cap they'd passed on the way to school had won the World Cup but they didn't believe me.

Brian Johnson from ACDC lives near Haydon Bridge and goes in the Railway for a pint leaving his Rolls Royce outside the butchers.

Prince Charles in Wales and Oliver Reed in The isle of wight

Elizabeth Carling lovely lady and local, spent a good few minutes chatting.

Did he play at the bus shelters?

I think you will find he came as Chairman of Watford before they were promoted from the fourth division (or whatever it was called at the time), arriving by chopper on the pitch.

Elton John and chopper, never far apart

Do you get in the Catholic club much BP?, been in a couple of times myself

That's why I didn't say helicoptor, set it up for any (half) wit to reply.

Never been in the BCC, I would probably burst into flames if I did, the rest of the family are left footers, I'm out and out atheist.

I think you winged the coptor bit The BCC's got to be better than supping white star round the back of Windlestone shops eh?

I'm starting to worry about you, it's amazing how close you are getting to where I live.

wasn't there a chant of "Elton's going bald" at that match

Met Herbie Hide when he was World Champion, he asked me for directions to a saddlery shop in small Suffolk market town. Bit of a cock, nice Porsche though, number plate reading KO1 HH.

Met Herbie Hide when he was World Champion, he asked me for directions to a saddlery shop in small Suffolk market town. Bit of a cock, nice Porsche though, number plate reading KO1 HH.

Can anyone remember the landlord off TFI Friday? He owns a pub in London near where my mate used to live. I was in there having a slash in the bogs when he stumbled in, totally blaked, and started pissing all over the place. I had to shuffle out the way so I didn't get soaked.

And I also got directed to the gents by Stephen Fry in a pub in Soho