...I'm forced to run a cable out to my latest 'creation'...... the wind's howling, the rain's coming across horizontally, I've sprung three leaks, my eyes are stinging with the rain and I'm sick to death and wondering why I started, the wind's howling now and everything seems so God forsaken I feel like the only person out in this lashing rain...then I heard it .... a f*****g ice cream van.
WHO the F*** is buying ice cream ....?

Well seeing as you're already out there, I'll have a ninety-nine with monkey's blood.

Just the one...?

Whippy or Softee ...?

A cider apple lolly for me thanks!

.... he hasn't got none, all he's got left is the Bovril lollies or the ones Cornelius likes, ....and if you try that you'll end up with a face like a Vietnamese cobbler... how about a chocolate sandwich?

Which reminds me, was up at St mary's lighthouse a couple of weeks ago and as it was raining... our lass sent me for a chocolate sandwich..I wouldn't go, so she went and brought back an affront to the ice cream makers art. They consisted of two wafers with a one inch mattress of marshmallow in between them and shiit chocolate around them...the 'ice cream' was in between two of these abominations and the whole sorry concoction must have been about four inches in height ..at least the gulls ate it ....reluctantly.

Chocolate sandwiches aren't the same as they were years ago, you squeeze them once now and the ice creams gone

There is something like that in our house but it has nowt to do with cold confectionary.