Username:  
Password:  
Register 
It is currently Sun Jul 13, 2025 8:51 pm

All times are UTC [ DST ]





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 
  Print view Previous topic | Next topic 
Author Message
 Post subject: Forgive me.................it is Friday though.
PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:37 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 7:28 am
Posts: 971
Location: you will find me here there and everywhere
:uhoh:
INFAMOUS TESCO MURDER

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious, dark-side, underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single pound coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco where he surprised her in the fruit & vegetable department. There he proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands, but as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor the manager of the fruit & vegetable department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by hidden security cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police.

Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper,the headline declared............











(....and you're going to hate this).......


















'ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT TESCO!'

_________________
78 revolutions a minute now.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Forgive me.................it is Friday though.
PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:17 am 
I was told that by a seventy-one year old here in China last Monday. :roll: :razz: :razz:


Top
  
 
 Post subject: Re: Forgive me.................it is Friday though.
PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:23 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:54 pm
Posts: 13354
Location: on me bike
personally, I don't believe a word of all that

_________________
personal assistant to Nelson the German Shepherd


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Forgive me.................it is Friday though.
PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 4:12 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 10:30 am
Posts: 7
Location: North Yorkshire
Realy? did you honestly laugh when you heard that? did you then think "i know I'll put that on the bunker?"

You have the same sense of humour as me, they said no one would get me! I love it! clappp


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Gadgies online

Dodgepots browsing this forum: bigdavemaddog, bobby lemonade, charlesI, charltonclive, Flying Hogans, Freaky Teeth, Infidel, JBPoolie, Jules, loyal_fan, millhouseseats, Ozzy Saltburn, poolie1966, PTID, Smokin Joe, Splod and 309 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  







The Bunker. The only HUFC forum with correct spelling and grammar.