My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3

seconds.'

I bought her some scales.

And then the fight started...

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her school reunion,and she

kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a

nearby table.

I asked, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' she sighed, 'he's my old boyfriend.. I understand he took to

drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he

hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' I said, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road

and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes

you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT

HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...

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I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my

Mother-in-law up. As I stood there and watched, her neighbour, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough".

That's when the fight started...

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