I was the only car parked in the Clansman car park at five on New Years eve waiting for our lass. A car drove in and parked right next to my nearside door...in an empty car park....
The woman driver then seemed to be messing about, wound her window down and tapped across onto my window... i pressed the button and the nearside window opened and she said....."Would you mind moving your car over a bit please, I can't get my door open wide enough" .. I replied "Are you serious"...?... and shut the window..... she climbed out of the nearside door....
She probably wondered what the 'R' stood for on the gear lever.

You were very polite.........is this a first?

... and a last.

Women drivers shouldn't be slagged off.

Women drivers, well Mrs R at least, are tremendous for driving me to and from the pub so that I can get pissed and not have to worry about taxis or, perish the thought, drug addled piss stained buses.

How is it Snowy always has a legitimatereason to be cross? It's a knack I can't seem to acquire

My other half goes, 'You're always getting cross with other motorists.'
'No, I'm not,' I say, 'but anyway, it's because of the way they behave.'
'No it's not,' he says. 'Usually they haven't done anything wrong.'

Owld Snowy wasn't slagging her off was he. It was a crackers scenario.

Just two cars in a car park and the second one to arrive can't get out the door so asks the other one to move. You wonder what was going on in the drivers head.

Then you hear it was a woman and as a bloke you know that you'll never quite understand.

Yes, I understood that bit, Frodraff

I was down at me mothers the other day and along with other cars parked in a cul de sac at right angles to the kerb.

Further down two people came out of a house busy chatting to one another. They got in the car, started it up and as they were pointing forward the driver pulled out failing to notice that there was a car driving down the road, quite slowly and was now directly in front. This obviously caused a collision which could've been avoided if the driver had been looking out of the windscreen instead of carrying on chatting.

I make no mention of the sex of the driver, but you just know don't you

I wasn't talking to you I was replying to Mr Ripper's point.

Well, you should have said so. Anyway, Mr Ripper understood it as well.

I shall rephrase my post... to 'Thick as shit drivers' my apologies to all the lady drivers I may have offended, ..... in light of the fact that whilst driving the right way down the one way in Haswell Avenue, a Peugeot came from the opposite direction, I was a third of the way down and we ended up bumper to bumper.... the driver gets out and askes me to move back as I haven't as far to reverse...... we exchanged viewpoints and he reversed all the way down to Stockton Road.

Well, there you go again....another legitimate cause for complaint. All I have is a sort of generalised, peevish hatred of mankind but that's not accepted as a reason for being curmudgeonly

Without wanting to generalise or appear sexist; typically women are terrible drivers who only see the two yards of road directly in front of the car. Lateral vision doesn't exist, looking ahead doesn't exist. I defy any woman to explain the theory and practicalities of vanishing points without using google.

You are asking for it, old bean

In fact I may decide to display all my knowledge of vanishing points in one easy lecture, using you as an example.....

Grabec, random hatred is quite normal...whenever one of those massive 4x4 chavwagons with chrome buffalo bars, steroid inflated bodywork, wheels off a jumbo jet, ridiculous macho model names, tinted widows, gaudy coloured bodywork, spare wheel cover with either rampant stallion, Taz or indian Chief head on, I want to harpoon the driver, be they monobrowed male or scrawny woman with skin the colour of a satsuma ... no logical reason......... see, you're not alone.

See, Snowy isn't just into car analogies, he's into car ... er, er ... what's the opposite of analogy?

Snowy will tell you.

i concur
with the exception of the harpooning i just checked with my union secretary and apparently its a sacking offence and not just a 2 day suspension as i had hoped

Well what's their stance on a bit of seal pup clubbing but replacing the pups with the drivers?

I believe it's call 'Random Auto Vindictive Destructive Mode'... and it's very satisfying.

I waiting for a new model to be issued by one of the popular manufacturers called something like The FORD ENORMOUS DONGER. It'll go like hot cakes.

Have you noticed that when the chavwagons are painted black, it's a gaudy black .... how do they do it...?
My hatred of these vehicles was confirmed when the driver of one was interviewed as regards why he bought it. He said so that if he's ever in a crash, his family will survive. The interviewer said that if he drove a normal family saloon and was in collision with another standard vehicle, the chances of survival were also quite good, he pointed out that the 4x4 guaranteed your survival but also guaranteed to wipe out the other family, surely better for both sets of passengers to have a chance. His reply was..'not my problem' ....worst of all we're talking school run here.

The opposite is, of course, alogy. Snowy possibly has asthma....