A seven year old boy was at the center of a Courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that the family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court however when he proclaimed that, while visiting his aunt during the summer holidays, She beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Newcastle United FC, whom both the boy and judge firmly believe are not capable of beating anyone.

My mam bought NUFC for my nephew last week. When I asked her why, she replied:"Well he's always longed for a cowboy outfit."