Best fun you can have on your own without removing your trousers. Them that change pitch and tone and last over five seconds are the best.

Who does the 'pull the finger' trick with the kids or spouse??

My highlight of the weekend was when Ewan did his first ever fart in the bath.

One of my best farting moments (no witnesses unfortunately) was when I managed to control a note whilst walking down a flight of stairs. Not easy, but I was VERY pleased with meself.

I did the 'pull that finger' trick with one of my 2nd cousins who was about eight at the time

He then went to a garden party, organised by my cousins then boyfriends father who was a vicar and quite high up the scale in that line of job, he walked over whilst a gaggle of vicars were banging on about ecumenical matters and said

'Pull that finger'
Vicar 'I say Tom, this sounds very jolly'
Tom 'Go on then....
Vicar 'OK'
Vicar pulls finger and my 2nd cousin breaks wind at about nine on the Richter scale.....

He laughed, the older folk of Huntington didn't, neither did my cousin, but I laughed when I found out

And of course..............the Dutch Oven. Always a sure fire winner....

My brother didn't know what one of them was till I explained the other week, my sister in law found out a lot quicker!

my missus dont fall for the pull the finger so i had to think a bit further outside the box.......

i pukka'd up and said giz a kiss once she touches.....BAAAAARRRRRPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!

Funnily enough she didnt see the funny side and sulked a bit

Did he have that whats that surprised look then a giggle.

The worst thing about farting though is when you follow through and cake your duds, it's not good when it happens when you are out on the piss believe me......

I think it's disgusting and would never partake in such an activity

i've had the tom tits since sunday and was leaving the house yesterday when i attempted a little truffle, only to squirt a bit of soup in my keks. i was late for an appointment in whitley bay, so had a real idealogical struggle as to whether i should clean up or wing it.

i compromised and wiped my ring and dumped my grollies in the shower.

job done

this was a public information announcement............

I'll have you know that er-indoors is representing England in this years Olympics for this one and only sporting event,and judging on her training tonight she is on for the GOLD.

There isn't much worse than having sloppy keks, it's always your best boxers that get ruined though never the cheap ones you get from Asda......

How about verse two as well

HERE IS ANOTHER, JUST LIKE THE OTHER, Der-der-der-der-der-DA!

Thats taking me back to the good ol' days!!!

Oh aye, they say they don't but they do. Mine's typical Chinese, if it's happening go with it, and she belts 'em out with gusto and doesn't get the merriment. English birds on the other hand are the sort who'll be crafty enough to do them on the run, drop a plate to cover the noise, and blame the council for the smell...