moving to france is like going to live on your landing
like a lot of ex pats the time will come when you need rain or cold mornings or even a queue to stand in

No shortage of two of them here, cold nights start in a couple of months and at least when you get to the front of a queue here, you don't get ripped off mercilessly. And the rain is at about 85F!!

in 70,000 years or so we'll need to make Mars inhabitable as this planet will be too hot to live on. Unless we go and live in Center Parcs or the Metro Centre.

Just two thoughts... why would anyone want to retire to Spain? ...it's just like living in a big quarry with apartments and seems to be full of retired taxi drivers arriving at bars at some unearthly early hour to drink their day into oblivion ....as for this fixation with the sun, very nice if you're on holiday , but when you're at work, it's preferable if it's 58f outside and drizzling as a great man once said ....Am I the only person who finds the sun a complete fooking pain. I' ve tried sitting in it and reading a book wlth a drink but I just get irritated by it .... mind you, I do find the idea of sailing up the coast of Norway appealing, so I suppose I've found my dream location.

Yep, you've got salt water for blood.

If anyone can tell me why I should find traipsing through slush with wet and numb feet and skidding all over pavements covered in a mixture of ice and diesel soot appealing I'm all ears. Frost?? Oh lovely, me pipes have burst, or maybe they haven't 'cos I spent two days in the loft, getting my hands full of glass fibre splinters having spent 60 quid in B&Q having queued for three hours.

Quick, buy ALL Tesco's bread, the shops are shut for two days over Christmas...

Oh great, the car won't start, the HT leads are covered in water.

Compared to the delights of England, the mozzies, the 'roaches, the mice and the gecko's are small price to pay for not spending 2 grand a year on various protective clothing.

But each to his own eh??

OH BLISS .... and don't get me started on barbeeeeecues...why spend a fookin fortune on a cooker then go into the garden and napalm a bit of 'chicken' and then pretend you're enjoying the taste of charcoal.

I've lived in St. Nazaire for a couple of months and the description of it being similar to Port Clarence is probably being generous.

Good luck John

Fancy Australia / Canada myself like, problem with France is it's full of French people

This country really is a shithole, have been thinking hard about this lately, only thing keeping me here (at present) is family

Yep, three hours of watery sunshine brings the shorts wearing, petrol sprinkling, numbskulls out into the garden, smoke everywhere, daft apron with tits on it (and in it), black sausages with still frozen centres, does anything edible ever come off these things??

I once had Christmas dinner off a barbecue in Australia and they know how to do it. Gas fired grill, all the bollocks. Half an oil drum and some chicken wire doesn't seem to have the desired effect......

I once had Christmas dinner off a barbecue in Australia and they know how to do it.

how did they boil the veg kev

Probably just put them in a bucket of water inside a metal box!

i good thinking i prefer non rustic veg meself like

Oh in hot water.

The black and white shirts just floated to the top and they threw them to the crocodiles......

Australian veg...? the spuds will probably have been koalas love pods sunbleached then boiled, the turnips will have been Kangaroos love pods boiled and bleached and don't even ask about the carrots...
Austarlia.... a great country, people over here say.... people seem to think it's a cross between Brighton and Spain.... Well if it's so good, why is every Australian male between the ages of 18 and 64 working as a barman in London?

'Cos the 'Sheilas' are either fat, mouthy, minging, shrill, 'fragrant,' or lesbian. Or a blend of all five.

Except Kylie and she lives in St Johns Wood. And Holly Valance and Natalie Imbrooglywoogly.

I've had all them...

Infinitely more engaging than dull French bridges. Haven't they got any nice French birds??

With the exception of Vanessa Paradis...who I've obviously had....

so tell me kev have you had all these women whilst performing the five fingered shuffle

And while we're on the subject of kev having a swift five-knuckle shuffle I'd just like to say, yeah there's plenty of things not perfect about England/Britain but I've lived in London, Greece, Israel and travelled plenty and though there's plenty of appeal about being abroad and spending lots of time there, I'm happy where I am.
I may be lucky but nevertheless:
45 minutes to hartlepool, half that to central newcastle (and whatever anyone thinks of geordies and the football team it is a great city, with plenty of quality live music), 30 mins to northumberland proper with its gorgeous beaches, castles and villages, two minutes to a beach, the cliffs, the harbour or the dene, good schools for both my kids, a great fish and chip shop and a great indian home delivery. Plus I have good friends.
I'd like the money to spend on foreign holidays cos we couldnt afford them this year but its here I want to live.

Were we?? I just thought it was Mr Timmy's fertile imagination running riot......