Oi, You! mr mad john

The Fat Man · **Joined:** Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:03 pm **Posts:** 2107

Cornelius Atweasle wrote:

The Fat Man wrote:

no6bus wrote:

now to any other nosey bugger who wants to butt in. welcome to the board

The irony! Your first post in this thread was to support someone who wanted to know why this wasn't a PM. If you didn't want others to comment on your insult, perhaps you should have limited your contributions to PMs?

Last time I looked this was a public forum, one where the moderators make clear that there are limits to 'free speech', personal insults being one of those. I think that particular insult crossed a line, other's disagree. This being a public forum, and the bunker has always 'self-policed', I don't think I'm out of order for expressing my opinion. You may not have thought this too personal, but that's how it looked to me.

Can I be the first to say welcome to the board? :laugh:

You're a bit late; that dull effort was my 33rd post! You're supposed to say that on the 1st. But thank you anyway for the obligatory welcome.

Cornelius Atweasle · **Posted:** Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:30 pm

The Fat Man wrote:

You're a bit late; that dull effort was my 33rd post! You're supposed to say that on the 1st. But thank you anyway for the obligatory welcome.

The Lightning Tree · **Joined:** Thu Nov 30, 2006 5:30 pm **Posts:** 5804

Posts like this are what I love about the Bunker :laugh:

The Lightning Tree · **Joined:** Thu Nov 30, 2006 5:30 pm **Posts:** 5804

chip fireball wrote:

Tree_With_Hamster wrote:

chip fireball wrote:

a staff nurse based in the chelsea and westminster, a secondary school teacher from york, and an arts administrator from edinburgh.

You find them on the net?

the nurse i met when i was a dj in a popular club in londons west end. kept in touch as you do. one of these bizzare women who has just got better looking the older she has got. she is in her mid 30's but still looks great. technically she is in a long term relationship with someone else. i try not to think about that.

the teacher i met on the net. york is near enough to nip down on the train , far enough away for her not to be griefing me. technically she is getting divorced.

the arts lassie from edinburgh, i met when i took the kids up there in august to see the damien hirst exhibition. she was pottering about in the gift shop and i asked her if they had a david shrigley book. she was very helpful and said they could order it, i said i was only up there for the day. she said that was a shame. i gave her my phone number and said text me if you ever get it in stock. i think she was pretty impressed i hit on her while i was with the bairn and despite her being well out of my league. have no idea what she sees in me, but i dont really care to be honest, its not like im going to marry her is it ?

In all seriousness I was once having intimate moments with 3 chicks at the same time. One was from Horden, one was from Rift House and the other was the ex. The one from Horden was a big fat mama, the chick from Rift House was also a big fat mama and ugly to go with it.

I've never done well in the chick stakes sadx

Cornelius Atweasle · **Posted:** Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:49 pm

chip fireball wrote:

I am gay...... I am and always have been a puff.

Yes, it's purile ... but I couldn't resist it!

rolfl

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:03 am

Is chip good looking or not?

Poolie_k · **Joined:** Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:37 pm **Posts:** 414

chip fireball wrote:

my eldest is 19 today, and leads her own life. she does have a nice car tho and she drives me about quite a lot.

Chipster aka Lurve Doctor :uhoh:

your 19 year old daughter good looking like? :wink:

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

Obafemi Obsession wrote:

Is chip good looking or not?

He's the best looking in town for his age.

Poolie_k · **Joined:** Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:37 pm **Posts:** 414

Yubep wrote:

Obafemi Obsession wrote:

Is chip good looking or not?

He's the best looking in town for his age.

What about this 19 year old daughter to me she is more of an interest.

Poolie_k · **Joined:** Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:37 pm **Posts:** 414

Out of my league no chance, boyfriend in the army brilliant just means when she is lonely whens he's away ill keep her warm on a cold night.

Mr Ripper · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:27 am

chip fireball wrote:

Obafemi Obsession wrote:

Is chip good looking or not?

[x] another one out of the closet. :shock:

Obafemi? He's never been in the closet- he's as camp as a row of pink tents! :laugh:

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:35 am

More homophobia. :roll:

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

If we post a load of homphobic topics will you fuck off?

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:52 am

Yubep wrote:

If we post a load of homphobic topics will you f*** off?

No. Hope that helps. :wink:

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

chip fireball wrote:

Poolie_k wrote:

Out of my league no chance, boyfriend in the army brilliant just means when she is lonely whens he's away ill keep her warm on a cold night.

[x] i lied about the boyfriend

[x] she is a lesbian

[ ] you have every chance

[x] Thread was good but now has now lost potential

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:23 am

chip fireball wrote:

Obafemi Obsession wrote:

More homophobia. :roll:

how the fook is what i said homophobic ?

to be honest you probably have marginally more chance with blokes than you do with lasses so fair play to you.

have you tried http://www.blindgayanddesperate.com ?

The homophobia was from Ripper, not you. Read more carefully in future.

Mr Ripper · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:38 am

Obafemi Obsession wrote:

chip fireball wrote:

Obafemi Obsession wrote:

More homophobia. :roll:

how the fook is what i said homophobic ?

to be honest you probably have marginally more chance with blokes than you do with lasses so fair play to you.

have you tried http://www.blindgayanddesperate.com ?

The homophobia was from Ripper, not you. Read more carefully in future.

You're a sad misguided fool.

Hope that helps.

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:40 am

Mr Ripper · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:43 am

Obafemi Obsession wrote:

Why?

For claiming that my statement was homophobic.

You big fag.

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

Who gives a fuck if ripper was homophobic?

I don't like gays either

So what?

Sod off obafemi you bender!!

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:02 pm

chip fireball wrote:

there were no puffs when i was a kid.

or heroin addicts.

Of course there were puffs. HTH.

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

Are you a puff OO?

poolie bri · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:08 pm

oh yes i reckon he,s as bent as a two bob watch

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:10 pm

Yubep wrote:

Are you a puff OO?

Would it matter if I was darling?

misterb2001 · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:14 pm

probably not, but it would explain a lot!

WaldoPepper · **Joined:** Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:42 pm **Posts:** 589

This thread has been brilliant. I can't be the only person who, when reading a Chip post, now has this song going on in their head:

Quote:

Mr. Boombastic
What you want is some boombastic romantic fantastic lover
Shaggy
Mr. Lover lover, Mr. Lover lover, girl, Mr. Lover lover, Mr. Lover lover
She call me Mr. Boombastic say me fantastic, touch me on me butt
she say I'm Mr. Ro...mantic
call me fantastic, touch me on me butt she say
I'm Mr.ro... Smooth just like silk
Soft and coddle hug me up like a quilt
I'm a lyrical lover no take me for no filth
With my sexual physique Jah know me well built
Oh me oh my well well can't you tell
I'm just like a turtle crawling out of my shell
Gal you captivate my body put me under a spell
With your cus cus perfume I love your sweet smell
You are the only young girl who can ring my bell
And I can take rejection so you tell me go to hell

I'm Boombastic say me fantastic touch me on my butt she says I'm Mr
Ro...mantic
call me fantastic she touch me on my butt she says Mr. boom
boom
boom
boom
boom
boom
Gee wheeze baby please
Let me take you to an island of the sweet cool breeze
You don't fell like driving baby hand me the keys
And I'll take you to a place to set your mind at ease
Don't you tickle my foot bottom ha ha baby please
Don't you play with my nose I might ha chum sneeze
Well you a the bun and me a the cheese
And if me a the rice well baby love you a the peas

CHORUS

Give me your loving gal your loving well good
I want your loving gal give it like you should
Give me your loving gal your loving well good
I want your loving gal you remember the woo
Would like to kiss and carress
Rub down every strand of hair on my chest
I'm Boombastic rated as the best
The best you should get nothing more nothing less
Give me your digits jot down your address
I'll bet you confess when you put me to the test
That I'm

CHORUS

Gal your admiration if a tick me from the start
With your physical attraction gal you know to feel the spark
A man of few word naw go tell you no sweet talk
Naw go laba laba laba and a chat pure phart
I'll get straight to the point like a arrow or a dart
Come lay down in my jacuzzi and get some bubble bath
Only sound you will hear is the beating of my heart
And we will mmm mmm (kiss) and have some sweet pillow talk
I'm

CHORUS

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

I knew chip was good with the ladies but i never knew to this extent.

Not only is he good with a ball at his feet but he's clearly good with the balls in his pants too.

I am tipping my hat to you as we speak chip.

Tax Paying Poolie · **Joined:** Sat Aug 19, 2006 8:18 am **Posts:** 9053

chip fireball wrote:

the nurse i have mentioned on here before, as i often stay over in london after away games and find sexual intercourse the ideal tonic after a shyte pools performance. as opposed to going out and getting shiit faced with tax

Personally I think getting shit faced after a shyte Pools game is far better than having sex with an imaginary girl.

HTH. :wink:

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

I have a mate, i think you've met him TPP, he is always claiming to have all these birds on the go, he always says he pulls on nights out and regails a million stories of this and that, the problem is no one ever sees these girls, even in edinburgh he claims to have took her back to the hotel, but by the time we got back, oh she'd already gone.

It's always the ones who brag who are more than likely making it up...

but chip isn't, he just isn't.

Tax Paying Poolie · **Joined:** Sat Aug 19, 2006 8:18 am **Posts:** 9053

chip fireball wrote:

Tax Paying Poolie wrote:

chip fireball wrote:

the nurse i have mentioned on here before, as i often stay over in london after away games and find sexual intercourse the ideal tonic after a shyte pools performance. as opposed to going out and getting shiit faced with tax

Personally I think getting shit faced after a shyte Pools game is far better than having sex with an imaginary girl.

HTH. :wink:

i will fetch her to the charlton game, if you promise not to get hoyed out for homophobic chanting. :shock:

I will try. It's not easy when you have such a hatred for gay people like myself.

Ps- I think you may have better luck getting a reply from Mad John by other means than the Bunker after talking to him last night.

Tax Paying Poolie · **Joined:** Sat Aug 19, 2006 8:18 am **Posts:** 9053

ADG wrote:

Is that another resignation? sadx

Not too sure in all honesty.

I think the predictability of the Bunker is putting MJ off. He has a point.

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:02 pm

I'm gay. Was that predictable?

no6bus · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:55 pm **Posts:** 5096

chip fireball wrote:

and still no reply from mr mad john. sadx

should have sent a pm. :wink:

yes it would have saved me the bother of looking at what i have missed by being at work since 4.45 this morning banghead

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

Tax Paying Poolie wrote:

ADG wrote:

Is that another resignation? sadx

Not too sure in all honesty.

I think the predictability of the Bunker is putting MJ off. He has a point.

This thread started off as a message for mad john asking if he'd ever been to leeds cockpit, yet it's turned into chip giving us all lessons in love and obafemi telling us all he's gay.

There is nothing predictable about this place.

grabec · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:25 pm

chip fireball wrote:

a lot of them

God, chip, you've just destroyed my last illusions. If Guardian readers are thinking along those lines, what hope has anyone else? :roll:

verbalkint · **Joined:** Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:08 pm **Posts:** 3135

Yubep wrote:

Obafemi Obsession wrote:

Is chip good looking or not?

He's the best looking in town for his age.

That depends on how old he is because on his myspace he was passing himself of as about 30 :shock:

Obafemi Obsession · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:09 pm

He's nearer to 50 than 30. :roll:

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

He's 46 i believe.

Cornelius Atweasle · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:20 pm

chip fireball wrote:

i see what you are doing there. you are using your personality as a contraceptive.

very smart.

It's a shame your parents didn't use a contraceptive. :roll:

MutleyRules · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:58 pm

ADG wrote:

I shouldnt really get involved here but what the hell.

I have seen Chips daughter, and I have I seen you PoolieK.

For the record, Chip is quite correct. She is way out of your league PoolieK.

I do hope that hasnt offended you.

I've seen her aswell.... :razz:

MutleyRules · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:14 pm

BTW....Thread Of The Year!!!! clappp

Plus....POF hasn't posted in this Thread at all!!!! rolf

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

Now that madjohn has went the way of montpoolier, trimdon and elvisc once a month in leaving the board we will never know if he has ever been to the cockpit or plans on seeing fantastic mr fox

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

chip fireball wrote:

Grabec wrote:

chip fireball wrote:

a lot of them

God, chip, you've just destroyed my last illusions. If Guardian readers are thinking along those lines, what hope has anyone else? :roll:

i can only speak from experience. most of the married women i know including those in my own extended family, and i know a fair few, say they are bored and say that they cant talk to their husbands. contrary to what the media will have us believe most of them also claim that they very rarely have sex with their husbands, and when they do they dont enjoy it much and normally have to be drunk to partake.

i also know a fair few women who have come out of bad long term relationships who seem to have lost their social skills and feel it is easier to be alone with their kids than to look for someone else.

note i didnt say all of them. perhaps i am like a magnet for people like that and the world is actually full of happy, monogamous couples.

Well it's a good job you are there for them, it's like your providing a service, you should start a business.

"Build your confidence up with chip, he'll even give you one whilst your there."

Cornelius Atweasle · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:27 pm

chip fireball wrote:

brilliant riposte that. very funny.

did you ever consider writing for a living ?

or failing that writing for the hartlepool mail.if you have never seen it, it's a newspaper written by people who can't actually write. it's sort of a parody of a newspaper. brilliant concept. would be right down your street.

Glad you liked my little dig, Chipper, me boy. :wink:

Writing's never been my strong point, and I bow to your towering intellect and wit. What does attract me is following in your footsteps and become a sexual Conquistador like yourself.

Imagine. You, the Don Juan of the Central estate. Me, your simple but faithful companion, Sancho.

We could ride those trusty steeds you tie up opposite the Rovers field, spreading the seed of the mighty Chipster all over town.

I'm going for a lay down. bbolt

verbalkint · **Joined:** Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:08 pm **Posts:** 3135

I cant believe out of all them millions of sperm his was the quickest :grin:

Cornelius Atweasle · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:50 pm

verbalkint wrote:

I cant believe out of all them millions of sperm his was the quickest :grin:

Me?

Yubep · **Joined:** Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:35 pm **Posts:** 25266

it's a service i've mulled over for years chip, one day i'll make a million from it.

Hawklord · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:27 pm **Posts:** 3116

chip fireball wrote:

[quote="YubepWell it's a good job you are there for them, it's like your providing a service, you should start a business.

"Build your confidence up with chip, he'll even give you one whilst your there."

yes, in many ways you are right. rather than manipulating vulnerable women, i am actually empowering them. i listen to their troubles, imparting the odd words of wisdom. obviously if the act of sexual intercourse is going to make them feel better about themselves and boost their confidence i will reluctantly go along with it. obviously the only pleasure im getting from that is knowing im helping someone to take their life back.

in many respects its akin to working in a charity shop. only instead of rummaging through dead mens coat pockets im working face to face with the needy.

i hadnt really thought of it like that before mr yubep. but i think you are right, i truly am a great person.[/quote]

You and Freud :wink:

Cornelius Atweasle · **Posted:** Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:59 pm

chip fireball wrote:

Cornelius Atweasle wrote:

verbalkint wrote:

I cant believe out of all them millions of sperm his was the quickest :grin:

Me?

oi, sancho, never mind arguing with the rabble, get the suitcases packed, we are off to scotland tomorrow on a mercy mission.

Yes, master. :laugh:

verbalkint · **Joined:** Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:08 pm **Posts:** 3135

Cornelius Atweasle wrote:

verbalkint wrote:

I cant believe out of all them millions of sperm his was the quickest :grin:

Me?

No not you sweet cheeks :wink:

Oi, You! mr mad john

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