One Liners 3rd edition!

[Monkeybutt]

I’ve made an ouija board using Alphabetti Spaghetti,
it’s great for contacting people who’ve pastaway

[Monkeybutt]

The woman who invented the knock knock jokes has just won the Nobel prize.

[Monkeybutt]

My sex change operation from male to female last week went really well.

In fact it was so successful I'm still trying to reverse out of the hospital car park.

[yloop]

Virtually all your 'jokes' that mention homosexuality are homophobic, you even manged to include the ancient 'don't turn your back' trope that suggests gay men are a threat to straight men's arses. I can't see how anybody would see these attempts at humour any other way. Of course, some people do laugh at this sort of shite but that doesn't make it less homophobic.

And I'll be impressed if you can explain how a 'joke' based on how Chinese people speak English isn't racist. You could use that to help to explain racist jokes to somebody who wasn't familiar with the idea.

Truth is that you're just wilfully pretending you don't understand what you're doing because you do understand that saying, "Yes I'm racist and homophobic" would have repercussions.

I'm told you are a decent bloke in person but it is hard to believe give the stuff you post on here.

Exactly the reason I cancelled my membership. There was a joke made about an eating disorder and absolutely no concession that he may have said something a bit wrong.

He argues against it and says not to read. There's no arguing with that kind of stupid so it's best to walk away.

Luckily the world seems to be changing for the better and this type of shit will expire with it.

[Monkeybutt]

Yet you still visit the one liners thread?

Were you not hugged enough?

[yloop]

This post was made by Monkeybutt who is currently on your ignore list. Display this post.

[kevin pooles gloves]

Lighten up its just banter/crack.
Watch a few episodes of Love Thy Neighbour and you will realise that.

Spin it anutha way and u could say its cyber bullying against MButt. Quite a few on here seem to have an agenda against him.

Its nothing more than a message board to exchange banter n opinions.
Peace to all men.
Amen

[Monkeybutt]

Lighten up its just banter/crack.
Watch a few episodes of Love Thy Neighbour and you will realise that.

Spin it anutha way and u could say its cyber bullying against MButt. Quite a few on here seem to have an agenda against him.

Its nothing more than a message board to exchange banter n opinions.
Peace to all men.
Amen

And the truth will set you free

[PJPoolie]

Yes we all need to see the error in our ways by watching a sitcom from almost 50 years ago were the general plot was ‘living next door to a darkie’.

WTF.

[born toulouse]

I accept that you get a lot of differences of opinion on a Forum and I've got no problem with arguing my point with anybody. Saying that offensive stuff is just crack or banter is complete bollocks though. People go on a joke thread expecting humour but Monkeybutt's threads regularly stray into mocking people with eating disorders and other mental illnesses, xenophobic steretyping and homophobia. The misogyny is almost constant. If somebody deliberately and persistently posts this way they can't really whine about other people having agendas.

If he was just a reactionary knobhead drivelling on to annoy people I'd ignore him, but he isn't. He's a board member of HUST and what he posts on here reflects on how serious they are about welcoming all Pools fans regardless of gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation etc. I'm not prepared to leave the trust because of this but I completely understand Yloop's decision and if they don't tell him to pack it in I'll probably have to reconsider.

[Monkeybutt]

I accept that you get a lot of differences of opinion on a Forum and I've got no problem with arguing my point with anybody. Saying that offensive stuff is just crack or banter is complete bollocks though. People go on a joke thread expecting humour but Monkeybutt's threads regularly stray into mocking people with eating disorders and other mental illnesses, xenophobic steretyping and homophobia. The misogyny is almost constant. If somebody deliberately and persistently posts this way they can't really whine about other people having agendas.

If he was just a reactionary knobhead drivelling on to annoy people I'd ignore him, but he isn't. He's a board member of HUST and what he posts on here reflects on how serious they are about welcoming all Pools fans regardless of gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation etc. I'm not prepared to leave the trust because of this but I completely understand Yloop's decision and if they don't tell him to pack it in I'll probably have to reconsider.

Do keep up , I left the board so I can keep on supplying you with quality entertainment.

Now do fuck off and preach to some fucker who wants to to listen , if the fire burns your finger when you put it in, stop it Einstein

[PJPoolie]

Maybe he’s making some fair points that you might consider taking on board, telling someone to ‘fuck off’ on a message board is a bit embarrassing to be honest and out of order I remember when this was the ‘no rarfs arms’ and people could disagree whilst having a bit of respect for each other.

You have said on numerous occasions that you have managed supermarkets and been in management positions in catering if you were still in those positions now in the real World some of the stuff you are willing to put online on a daily basis could easily see you sacked. Like it or not that is where the World has progressed to in 2019. Although the Trust is voluntary it’s still important it presents itself in a professional manner and is inclusive of everyone.

So are you no longer membership secretary and are no longer involved in the Trust? They need to update the website if not.

[born toulouse]

Still said he was on the website yesterday but maybe they've had a look at the stuff he posts on here and asked him to stop being a liability?

[Monkeybutt]

Still said he was on the website yesterday but maybe they've had a look at the stuff he posts on here and asked him to stop being a liability?

The website will reflect this when the Chairman gets back off holiday.

[Monkeybutt]

Maybe he’s making some fair points that you might consider taking on board, telling someone to ‘fuck off’ on a message board is a bit embarrassing to be honest and out of order I remember when this was the ‘no rarfs arms’ and people could disagree whilst having a bit of respect for each other.

You have said on numerous occasions that you have managed supermarkets and been in management positions in catering if you were still in those positions now in the real World some of the stuff you are willing to put online on a daily basis could easily see you sacked. Like it or not that is where the World has progressed to in 2019. Although the Trust is voluntary it’s still important it presents itself in a professional manner and is inclusive of everyone.

So are you no longer membership secretary and are no longer involved in the Trust? They need to update the website if not.

Await the return from holiday of Dr Ward.

[Monkeybutt]

Maybe he’s making some fair points that you might consider taking on board, telling someone to ‘fuck off’ on a message board is a bit embarrassing to be honest and out of order I remember when this was the ‘no rarfs arms’ and people could disagree whilst having a bit of respect for each other.

You have said on numerous occasions that you have managed supermarkets and been in management positions in catering if you were still in those positions now in the real World some of the stuff you are willing to put online on a daily basis could easily see you sacked. Like it or not that is where the World has progressed to in 2019. Although the Trust is voluntary it’s still important it presents itself in a professional manner and is inclusive of everyone.

So are you no longer membership secretary and are no longer involved in the Trust? They need to update the website if not.

You're not even a trust member, just a bored house husband with a wooden spoon and an elevated opinion of yourself.
I like that you are part of the joke thread, like it's where you belong!

[born toulouse]

Just got an email explaining that you've 'stepped down' thanks. Given the timing I take it you were asked to stop with the homophobia or resign from the board.

Good that your bigotry won't reflect on HUST anymore but a shame that you'll probably continue to parade it on here.

[PJPoolie]

You're not even a trust member, just a bored house husband with a wooden spoon and an elevated opinion of yourself.
I like that you are part of the joke thread, like it's where you belong!

I’d imagine I’ll renew now.

Getting personal again, you have no idea about me or life which is rather good thanks and rarely effected by boredom. I also have a full time job which makes wrong on all fronts.

Carry on embarrassing yourself, and continue being the worst contributor this forum has ever had, at least it’s not going to reflect badly on the Trust now.

[Monkeybutt]

Just got an email explaining that you've 'stepped down' thanks. Given the timing I take it you were asked to stop with the homophobia or resign from the board.

Good that your bigotry won't reflect on HUST anymore but a shame that you'll probably continue to parade it on here.

Sorry to disappoint, I tended my resignation voluntarily and i will of course continue my brand of humour, you of course have a choice to view it or not, if you don't want to be offended then seek counselling for your addiction.

[born toulouse]

I'm sure you were given a choice whether to stop with the offensive shite or step down. If it makes you feel better to pretend you suddenly decided to step down and nobody from HUST spoke to you about this feel free. Sad thing is that you could cut and paste shit jokes from around the internet without mocking anybody if you were just a bit more selective.

[Sussex UK]

Lighten up its just banter/crack.
Watch a few episodes of Love Thy Neighbour and you will realise that.

Any White Honky's ,Palefaces or Big White Chief's you care to name ??

[kevin pooles gloves]

LB
Sounds like we on the same wavelength. Of humour even tho you a loid.

[Brian Honour's Left Foot]

I'm sure you were given a choice whether to stop with the offensive shite or step down. If it makes you feel better to pretend you suddenly decided to step down and nobody from HUST spoke to you about this feel free. Sad thing is that you could cut and paste shit jokes from around the internet without mocking anybody if you were just a bit more selective.

Rowan Atkinson was right about the increasing censorship of humour.

I didn't like some of Butt's jokes; some made me laugh out loud. If the Board was quiet you can/ could rely on Mr Butt to liven it up. Yes, I cringed at some. And some I sent on to mates immediately. So thanks Mr Butt - keep it up (if the pills are working, phnar, phnar)

As for him stepping down from HUST - well, whatever he did for the trust he did on his own time and for that I, for one, say 'thank you Mr Butt'.

[Monkeybutt]

I'm sure you were given a choice whether to stop with the offensive shite or step down. If it makes you feel better to pretend you suddenly decided to step down and nobody from HUST spoke to you about this feel free. Sad thing is that you could cut and paste shit jokes from around the internet without mocking anybody if you were just a bit more selective.

Would you like me to post some of my blood to France or is me stepping down from my voluntary role not enough?
Jesus what is wrong with you and self righteous bollocks, you never told a dodgy joke ever?

[kevin pooles gloves]

The long distance Bunkerites r right chewy twats.
They must miss England Hartlepool big style.
But. We will. Never miss them.
PJ Poolie what a.wanker only comes on to stir the shit and pretend he's a Poolie. At heart.

Anyway gunna giv this a rest. till August if I'm allowed to log back in cos I'm not a backscrathing cocksucker.

[born toulouse]

It isn't self-righteous to point out that some of your 'jokes' aren't so much dodgy as nasty and based on horrible, outdated attitudes. Plenty of people have argued with you about this and you just reply with fuck off, if you don't like it don't look. You never apologise or say you can see somebody's point when it must pretty obvious that people have gay friends and relatives, or maybe know and love people who have been afflicted with mental illnesses, learning difficulties or eating disorders. Some people on the board might even be gay themselves but you never ease up.

Ultimately you've decided you'd rather step down from your role at the Trust than rein in the bigotry and mocking of the vulnerable. Your choice, but I'm tempted to ask: "Jesus what is wrong with you and the bigotry bollocks, you never stopped to think it might piss people off because it is hurtful and unnecessary?"

[Monkeybutt]

It isn't self-righteous to point out that some of your 'jokes' aren't so much dodgy as nasty and based on horrible, outdated attitudes. Plenty of people have argued with you about this and you just reply with fuck off, if you don't like it don't look. You never apologise or say you can see somebody's point when it must pretty obvious that people have gay friends and relatives, or maybe know and love people who have been afflicted with mental illnesses, learning difficulties or eating disorders. Some people on the board might even be gay themselves but you never ease up.

Ultimately you've decided you'd rather step down from your role at the Trust than rein in the bigotry and mocking of the vulnerable. Your choice, but I'm tempted to ask: "Jesus what is wrong with you and the bigotry bollocks, you never stopped to think it might piss people off because it is hurtful and unnecessary?"

I'm a bigot, you're a crank, let's leave it at that, bored now.

Ps joke thread featuring dodgy jokes, stay away!

[PJPoolie]

The long distance Bunkerites r right chewy twats.
They must miss England Hartlepool big style.
But. We will. Never miss them.
PJ Poolie what a.wanker only comes on to stir the shit and pretend he's a Poolie. At heart.

Anyway gunna giv this a rest. till August if I'm allowed to log back in cos I'm not a backscrathing cocksucker.

Who’s this ‘character’ I have noticed most of his contributions go ignored and I half had a feeling he was on a wind up as nobody who manages to log in and is older than 6 is quite this appalling when it comes to the English language. Quite self deprecating though I mean nobody wants to be called a ‘backscrathing cocksucker.’

[Snowy]

It wasn’t that funny, but what people fail to notice about ‘Love the Neighbour’, is that the ‘racist’ white bloke always ended up looking a prick. The audience laughed at the racist bloke getting his comeuppance, they did laugh with him.

[PJPoolie]

I don’t doubt that Mr Snowy, I have only seen a couple of clips to be fair one which from what must be the pilot where you see a removal van and the white bloke goes to introduce himself to the (white) bloke near the van to welcome him to the street and the bloke says ‘I’m not moving in mate I’m just a removal man they are’ as the camera pans to the black family then back to his face as he says with horror ‘awww my gawwwd’

Certainly ‘of its time’ which to be fair was nearly 50 years ago but can you imagine pitching that idea to a TV executive now

[Brian Honour's Left Foot]

It isn't self-righteous to point out that some of your 'jokes' aren't so much dodgy as nasty and based on horrible, outdated attitudes. Plenty of people have argued with you about this and you just reply with fuck off, if you don't like it don't look. You never apologise or say you can see somebody's point when it must pretty obvious that people have gay friends and relatives, or maybe know and love people who have been afflicted with mental illnesses, learning difficulties or eating disorders. Some people on the board might even be gay themselves but you never ease up.

Ultimately you've decided you'd rather step down from your role at the Trust than rein in the bigotry and mocking of the vulnerable. Your choice, but I'm tempted to ask: "Jesus what is wrong with you and the bigotry bollocks, you never stopped to think it might piss people off because it is hurtful and unnecessary?"

This is supposed to be a football based board - a bit of banter and talk about 'our' team - but this is verging on digital abuse. What has he done to you? Would you say this to his face? FFS give it a rest. Are you going to threaten him with a 100 lines next? I don't think that he's a bigot - aye, his filter is set differently to yours. But that doesn't make either of you right - or wrong. So give it a break.

[born toulouse]

I'd say exactly what I've said on here to his face. On your other point, if he gives the shite a rest I'll stop pointing out that it is shite.

[Monkeybutt]

I'd say exactly what I've said on here to his face. On your other point, if he gives the shite a rest I'll stop pointing out that it is shite.

Who made you the shite filterer, is this a stalking issue or maybe you saw my picture on the website and your getting the hots for me?

Ps I'm into women but it it involves a sleepover in France, I could be swayed!

[Snowy]

I don’t doubt that Mr Snowy, I have only seen a couple of clips to be fair one which from what must be the pilot where you see a removal van and the white bloke goes to introduce himself to the (white) bloke near the van to welcome him to the street and the bloke says ‘I’m not moving in mate I’m just a removal man they are’ as the camera pans to the black family then back to his face as he says with horror ‘awww my gawwwd’

Certainly ‘of its time’ which to be fair was nearly 50 years ago but can you imagine pitching that idea to a TV executive now

As for ‘being of it’s time’, it was shite then, people were capable of seeing that, but there was some great TV about then. I have hundreds of channels now and dross runs rampant, but I had the advantage of actually being there.

[Hartleblue]

The long distance Bunkerites r right chewy twats.
They must miss England Hartlepool big style.
But. We will. Never miss them.
PJ Poolie what a.wanker only comes on to stir the shit and pretend he's a Poolie. At heart.

Anyway gunna giv this a rest. till August if I'm allowed to log back in cos I'm not a backscrathing cocksucker.

[PJPoolie]

I refer to my earlier ‘no rarfs arms’ comments.....

[pooliecrab]

On the positive side, this is the funniest the one liner thread has been.

People take this place far too seriously.

[tREE_wiTH_hAMStER]

Must admit I hadn't looked into this thread for a week or so.

nearly got the popcorn out.

Will be back.

[Monkeybutt]

Must admit I hadn't looked into this thread for a week or so.

nearly got the popcorn out.

Will be back.

See ya soon Arnie for shenanigans.

[Sussex UK]

It wasn’t that funny, but what people fail to notice about ‘Love the Neighbour’, is that the ‘racist’ white bloke always ended up looking a prick. The audience laughed at the racist bloke getting his comeuppance, they did laugh with him.

PJ would have been horrified at 70's Tv..Alf Garnett in Till Death Us Do Part was another.And what would the old prude think of the Benny Hill Show ??

[PJPoolie]

As as kid I enjoyed Alf Garnett I am not a prude or particularly PC I just take people as I find them generally. However I am not in favour of oaf like, ignorant bellend behavior though and reckon by 2019 it’s not too much to ask to not project yourself as a racist homophobic prick online, or a massive arsehole on most levels.

[Monkeybutt]

As as kid I enjoyed Alf Garnett I am not a prude or particularly PC I just take people as I find them generally. However I am not in favour of oaf like, ignorant bellend behavior though and reckon by 2019 it’s not too much to ask to not project yourself as a racist homophobic prick online, or a massive arsehole on most levels.

Well try harder then.

[no6bus]

It isn't self-righteous to point out that some of your 'jokes' aren't so much dodgy as nasty and based on horrible, outdated attitudes. Plenty of people have argued with you about this and you just reply with fuck off, if you don't like it don't look. You never apologise or say you can see somebody's point when it must pretty obvious that people have gay friends and relatives, or maybe know and love people who have been afflicted with mental illnesses, learning difficulties or eating disorders. Some people on the board might even be gay themselves but you never ease up.

Ultimately you've decided you'd rather step down from your role at the Trust than rein in the bigotry and mocking of the vulnerable. Your choice, but I'm tempted to ask: "Jesus what is wrong with you and the bigotry bollocks, you never stopped to think it might piss people off because it is hurtful and unnecessary?"

Has Mr Butt confirmed that he was asked to stop or step down from his role or is it just an assumption?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Monkeybutt]

Neil Diamond is selling his Volvo on Ebay

It's a Swede car online.

[Hartleblue]

Keep m comin!

[Monkeybutt]

My wife was preparing lunch today when she asked, "John, where's the cheese grater?" I said
"Some would say France, others would say England"

[Monkeybutt]

My wife is leaving me because I only talk about football, shame really as we have been together 12 seasons!

[Monkeybutt]

My wife is leaving me because I only talk about football, shame really as we have been together 12 seasons!

[Monkeybutt]

My mother in law came round to my house in the middle of a storm at 3am, banging on the door. So I opened the door and she said "I've left your father, I need to stay here for a few days" I said " fine, no problem at all, stay there" and shut the door.

[Mr Ripper]

My mother in law came round to my house in the middle of a storm at 3am, banging on the door. So I opened the door and she said "I've left your father, I need to stay here for a few days" I said " fine, no problem at all, stay there" and shut the door.

Weren’t you interested what she’d been doing with your father?