Clean jokes

Mhanger33 · **Joined:** Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:26 pm **Posts:** 28

Ok so i will Start it off....

Steak pies in the the Caribbean cost....

2.00 pound in Jamaica
1.75 in Antigua
1.50 in St.Lucia

That my Friends is.....’The Pie rates of the Caribbean!!!

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PJPoolie · **Joined:** Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:28 pm **Posts:** 15342

I know somebody on here you might get along with....

A word of advice though, you’ve clearly typed that yourself although it’s definitely shit enough and it’s a bit lazy (I doubt they eat many Steak Pies in the Caribbean and they certainly don’t spend pounds in Jamaica) in future just copy and paste it lift it straight off the inter web so it can be both as funny as a multi car pile up AND as lazy as fuck. That perfect marriage.

The mother in law!!!!! (I thought I’d finish with a punchline so we’re not going off topic)

PJPoolie · **Joined:** Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:28 pm **Posts:** 15342

Anyone fancy starting another Bread thread?

Mhanger33 · **Joined:** Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:26 pm **Posts:** 28

PJPoolie wrote:

Anyone fancy starting another Bread thread?

Ahh well...:-/

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tREE_wiTH_hAMStER · **Joined:** Sat May 19, 2007 11:00 am **Posts:** 20758

Please ignore PJ, being a house wife is taking its toll on him.

Keep up the great jokes Mhanger!!

Mhanger33 · **Joined:** Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:26 pm **Posts:** 28

tREE_wiTH_hAMStER wrote:

Please ignore PJ, being a house wife is taking its toll on him.

Keep up the great jokes Mhanger!!

Lol Yes a Tad Grumpy

Cheers

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PJPoolie · **Joined:** Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:28 pm **Posts:** 15342

Don’get me wrong it’s always great to read such fresh cutting edge material that you’ve never heard or seen the like of before.

You should go to Edinburgh next summer.

Mhanger33 · **Joined:** Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:26 pm **Posts:** 28

PJPoolie wrote:

Don’get me wrong it’s always great to read such fresh cutting edge material that you’ve never heard or seen the like of before.

You should go to Edinburgh next summer.

Lol, yes maybe! Watch this space

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tREE_wiTH_hAMStER · **Joined:** Sat May 19, 2007 11:00 am **Posts:** 20758

Mhanger33 wrote:

tREE_wiTH_hAMStER wrote:

Please ignore PJ, being a house wife is taking its toll on him.

Keep up the great jokes Mhanger!!

Lol Yes a Tad Grumpy

Cheers

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Got anymore beauties?

aptid · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:49 pm **Posts:** 1506

Keep it up mhanger not everyone is a miserable c u next Tuesday as PJ. He reminds me of the internet cartoon joke, the wife says to husband come to bed the husband says I can't somebody on the internet is wrong.

PJPoolie · **Joined:** Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:28 pm **Posts:** 15342

Straight over your head then.

monkeybutt · **Posted:** Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:45 am

Mhanger33 wrote:

Ok so i will Start it off....

Steak pies in the the Caribbean cost....

2.00 pound in Jamaica
1.75 in Antigua
1.50 in St.Lucia

That my Friends is.....’The Pie rates of the Caribbean!!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I feel your pain, PJ is a enigma, you have to read his post three or four times and really look into it, he is being humorous , he just doesn`t know it and neither does anybody else :shifty:

PJPoolie · **Joined:** Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:28 pm **Posts:** 15342

Don’t get me wrong I am being serious when I say your jokes are about as funny as Pol Pots brutal Cambodian regime and your bread thread about as interesting as a Formula One car race.

monkeybutt · **Posted:** Thu Nov 09, 2017 2:20 pm

PJPoolie wrote:

Don’t get me wrong I am being serious when I say your jokes are about as funny as Pol Pots brutal Cambodian regime and your bread thread about as interesting as a Formula One car race.

Get rid of that hoover, just gathering dust.

Montpoolier · **Posted:** Thu Nov 09, 2017 2:30 pm

The police detained a suspect after a first floor flat was burgled.
Suspect: It couldn't have been me; I only burgle bungalows.
DC: Do you really expect me to believe that?
Suspect: That's my storey and I'm sticking to it.

Mhanger33 · **Joined:** Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:26 pm **Posts:** 28

Haha, great stuff guys

Ok here is another....

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

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Mhanger33 · **Joined:** Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:26 pm **Posts:** 28

One more...

Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels.

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The J Dizzle · **Joined:** Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:21 pm **Posts:** 342

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand PJPoolie. His humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical reader's head. There’s also PJ's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. Those who can understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike PJPoolie truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick’s existential phrasing when he asks for more bread pages. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as PJ's genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them.

And yes, by the way, i DO have a PJPoolie tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid.

PJPoolie · **Joined:** Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:28 pm **Posts:** 15342

Finally someone on my wavelength!!!

The Fat Man · **Joined:** Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:03 pm **Posts:** 2107

The J Dizzle and PJ Poolie are the new leaders of our revolutionary socialist party?

Just wait until Horden hears this. There'll be a coup.

Mhanger33 · **Joined:** Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:26 pm **Posts:** 28

Ok last one of the day..

A farmer found a way to grow Dildos in his field , which made him lot’s of money, but he has started having problems with Squatters

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Double Figures · **Joined:** Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:47 am **Posts:** 845

One snowman turned to the other snowman and said; 'is it just me, or can you smell carrots?'

Bluestreak · **Posted:** Fri Nov 10, 2017 11:33 am

I've just deleted all the German contacts on my phone, now it's Hans free.

tREE_wiTH_hAMStER · **Joined:** Sat May 19, 2007 11:00 am **Posts:** 20758

Mhanger33 wrote:

Ok last one of the day..

A farmer found a way to grow Dildos in his field , which made him lot’s of money, but he has started having problems with Squatters

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I dont find the use of dildos especially in a mucky farmers field to be a "clean joke"

0/10. Disappointed.

PJPoolie · **Joined:** Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:28 pm **Posts:** 15342

It’s a shame as it’s the strongest gag yet as well.

Maybe he needs to go more out of the blue book?

Mhanger33 · **Joined:** Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:26 pm **Posts:** 28

tREE_wiTH_hAMStER wrote:

Mhanger33 wrote:

Ok last one of the day..

A farmer found a way to grow Dildos in his field , which made him lot’s of money, but he has started having problems with Squatters

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I dont find the use of dildos especially in a mucky farmers field to be a "clean joke"

0/10. Disappointed.

Yes very sorry, it was very very Dirty.
I am totally disappointed in myself.
(Head shake)

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Clean jokes

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