looks like Theresa May will be PM. Uncontested, Leadsam withdraws

Why doesn't someone young ever stand for these things and inject a bit of new blood? I'm sick of seeing these dreary old ugly mugs.

The problem is Ms Grabec, the same with all politics, the young blood gets elected, has ideals on how to change the World, then the seasoned politicians take them to one side, persuade them to vote a certain way/ tow the line and a big promotion will come their way, then all of a sudden the young idealsit politician becomes one of the........establishment, career politicians.

Need I say more, Sorry to be a Realist on a Monday!

We must think of a plan.
I think you should stand, Mr The Bishop, on a platform of Socks and Coleslaw for all.

Thank you for your kind words Ms Grabec, but unfortunately being cynical and one of those corrupted (politically) when younger, I would give precedence to those wearing Duchamps, and politicians who buy extra creamy coleslaw.

Where did my life go wrong, from a young Radical to one of the rotten to the Core establishment? I suppose at least I'm honest about my 2 above prejudices! Colour, Race, Religion, gender etc I'm fine with. Socks and Coleslaw, that's what matters in Modern Politics.

Grabec. I am young, and I will stand on a promise of the compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast, free corsets for the under-fives, and the abolition of slavery.

Abolition of slavery? Extremist nonsense.

I read that in the style of Danny Dyer...

Does that happen often? If so, you may have been watching too much tv

Anyway, I think, unless others are willing to put themselves forward, it will have to be a dream ticket of Bishop and Colonel. But I warn them, we'll leave no stone unturned in digging up unsavoury secrets from your murky pasts.

I think Mr Colonel you may have to rethink your 2nd pledge, there may be a chance it could be misquoted, however it may not stop you working for the BBC or getting a knighthood!!!!!

My apologies, I was just quoting Ivor Biggan. Oh hang on, thats not making it any better is it?

Mind you, I could probably fit right in at the Tory party.

Edited for accuracy

OK, now as your campaign manager, I must insist on you two not disagreeing in public. Present a united front. You saw what happened to Boris and Gove.

And no dribbling, nose-picking or slurping. None of that kind of thing. Remember that, when you're elected, you'll be invited to breakfast with the Queen

Breakfast with the queen?

I am not having breakfast with Mr I.

I like croissants!

Oh and Coco Pops.

That sounded a decent speech, hope she sticks to her guns.

All that shite from Cameron at the end, he actually thinks he's done great job and saved the country. I think he has forgotten he's taken us out of the EU and not even embarrassed about it. Not to worry though his kids and family will be ok. He gambled and lost BIG TIME!!!! I'm not sure if this was part of the Tory master plan to destroy any opposition all along.

Don't think it matters a toss who's in charge at the moment, it's beyond the bounds of human capabilites to drag this shithole of a country out of the mire. All we can do is sit back and laugh at their pathetic attempts. Matt Johnson got it spot on when he wrote The Beat(en) Generation and Heartland over 30 years ago, more relevant now than ever.

Boris Johnson Foreign Secretary, oh this is shaping up to be a classic comedy cabinet.

TBF didn't Boris show the Chinese how to play Wiff Waff??????

It had to be him or Gove. May had little choice.

Ironically, by my reckoning , won't that make Boris in charge of negotiating Brexit with the EU? The man who won a referendum then slumped off into the background, because he didn't know what to do next?

Am I still allowed to eat croissants now that we are out of the EU?

And if I'm having breakfast with the Colonel and the Queen, should I take my own Coco Pops just in case, or do you think maybe Prince Philip likes them?

This standing for PM is quite tricky so far with all these questions and decisions.

And she hates Gove.

In that case it only goes to show what a pathetically poor set of clowns she has to choose from. Hope Boris has got a strong forelock because he's going to be doing a lot of tugging (fnarr fnarr) in the coming months, I daren't think how many foreigners he's got to apologise to.