For the third afternoon on the trot the temperature in my back garden has exceeded 100 degrees F.
It's bloody red hot round here.

it's 310 degrees kelvin in mine

After a day in the greenhouse cafe, my groin is a tad moist and I have just peeled my bill grundys from my ample butt

Nearly pranged me car today eyeing up some stupid bird wearing a tight top and skimpy shorts..

You live in Brighton don't you??

Are you fond of tranny's??

No, 20 miles away

Cougar milf's for me..Don't you run a ladyboy bar ? Are you full op yet?

Cougar milf's for me..

Like a cross between a big smelly cat and an owld tart??

Don't you run a ladyboy bar ?

No, just a previously failing pub, which is doing quite nicely.

Are you full op yet?

I haven't a scooby what that means, is it Sussex gay-speak??

Was it your sister?

Incestous jokes ? Save them for you're family table .they'll go down a storm.

You've been living away far too long spender you old hippy..

I can't see how a table would make an appreciative audience, like. Although, being a loid, you must be used to talking to inanimate objects.

Eh . i've been talking to a case of strongbow for the last couple of hours.

Everyones got there f lawn mowers on out the back..

Why are all the horses full ?

Im suffering from a case of severe roasted love handles

Was in Brighton at the beginning of the week, it was farkin hot down there, a good 15 degrees on Hartlepool today I reckon. Had a lunchtime session in Lewes yesterday, lovely place, cracking pub called the Snowdrop Inn

Nice pubs in and around Lewes..Did you have a few beers on Brighton seafront?

Do you know Pok was down this way once,and never even let me know..
I was drinking round the corner from him as well .never got to meet the legend. . fh

That's the problem. Drink it, don't talk to it......

What's your local clientele then ,spender ?..

sat in the garden tonight with some very nice bottles of Asahi

Managed to organise a couple of site visits this afternoon

If it's any consolation/cause for gloating/whatever, the weather in the South of France had been total shite. Today is the first evening you could really sit outside comfortably.

Hate hot weather me. Much prefer wind and rain and im being serious.

Wish the sun would just fuck off to be honest.

You would have liked it round here recently Mr Tree, even wetter windier and colder than Montpoolier has had to tolerate. Just had a nice cheese sarnie out on the terrace in 29° though - bit more like it.

It's exam time; it's always hot when the exams are on and I've a pile of marking. Once we get the exam board out of the way, normal service will be resumed.

Errr........Chinese people,. and some ex-pats, mainly young travellers teaching for a while.

Good of you to help him out there Mr Spender, Sussex would never have worked out that you get Chinese people in pubs in China. Way beyond him, he'd have been scratching his head until he drowned in his own dandruff.

I feel it is my moral duty to assist the afflicted Mr Toulouse.

He does have a lurcher to feed after all and we are a Nation of 'dag' lovers aren't we??

What's on the bar snack menu?

Had some decent skirt in the caff today, that police station works on a 50/50 basis I think, half doable and the other half dontable

Is that half male and half female? Or possibly the other way around.

There seems to be a fair few of the women in the hearth adornment munching sector, short hair, comfortable shoes and zero make up, 2 absolute stunners started coming in the morning, may have to offer up my special sausage as bait

One of the bunker has been coming in every friday for breakfast with a mate, he knows me from on here but wont reveal who he is

A plethora of Oriental delights.

Lotus root, duck tongues, chicken feet, breaded sardines, chili cucumber, beansprouts, fried noodles, sunflower seeds, pickled white carrot, tea seeds, chips, hamburgers, pies, fish and chips, onion rings, hedgehog baked in clay.

What would you choose??

No pickled eggs.?

You any good with the nunchakus?..

Nah, thousand year old eggs are lush, sea duck eggs are nice an' all. Not so keen on the virgin boys urine eggs, like.

I'm fuckin' dynamite with the nunchakas (that's Japanese, you mean shuǐdào liánjiā) I just don't bother.