I was sorting out some books and came across the story of Ralph Ward Jackson by Eric Waggot...For those who don't know Mr Waggot, he was the 'Town Clerk' of West Hartlepool and then Hartlepool. The title given to the man who does his job now is 'Chief Executive'.

the old descriptions tell it like it is

Life coach

I hate this job title, what a crock of shit.

Basically you advise thick people what to do

And get paid for it, it's the biggest poncy crock of shit since the director of football / sport job was invented, when Terry Vegetables went 'upstairs' at pompey in about 1997.

Also the chairman of hull is called, the chairman of football, what the hell!

Anyway life coaches...

"ere bob quit your job get a new one, go the gym, dump your lass, eat mexican food, cut out your spending, now give me £50.00 an hour to tell you that!"

frigging hell, where's the application forms? I'll shot me cv in!!!

The worst of all....'Human Resourses'.... what was wrong with personnel? What pompous, imbecilic graduate from the university of Twatshire, what demented wordsmith, what designer label addicted smart but casual all inclusive metrosexual egotist thought up that pair of words....a retarded native living in the hills of northern India who is learning English by correspondence course and still on the first week could translate it as meaning ......'resource',... something that is there to be exlploited...and 'human resource' puts the icing on the tombstone.

I kid you not, I know someone who had a temporary job overseas as a Director of First Impressions

i.e a receptionist

You can tell you dont work in human resources snowy cos you would call it HR.

People love saying that...

"Oh i work in the HR department..."

"Oh yes i'm the heard of product supplies for the the HR department"

So you order the pencils n rulers when they run out then

The team (I hate this as well, team ) I run has an acronym within an acronym.

we're called CID-RR which stands for Co-ordinated IMAC delivery Rolls-Royce. IMAC standing for Install, move, add or change.

So basically we provide new hardware, software and transfers for Rolls-Royce.

Why don't they just call us the hardware and software people?

Better than last time when you just shot in your CV and then wondered why you never got that job as equality officer with the Miss Great Britain team.......

The naked photo never helped either....you should have included your head...

No, forget that...

which head?

Goalkeeping coach, whats all that about? Why would pools need one anyway, when they have a Director of Everything and Anything who used to be a top drawer goalie prowling the corridors looking for something to do.